All these bad days, when will I put it to an end, when will I truly learn to let go of all my sufferings, when will I forgive myself totally. Today, my mood pendulum swinged to the very end. As good as dead. Studies, relationships, future, work, self, fitness, old habitual patterns; all came to me together with all its difficulties and challenges. Confused with signs, thoughts spamming my mind, fatigue, lack of this and that; all these sucks. I'd a glimpse of enlightenment and joy, but it didn't sustain. Fear crumples me, lonliness reaches me. Hope, where are you? I seem to lost you again. I've always discuss that life isn't easy, that the lessons I have to learn in this incarnation isn't easy, for if it is, I won't grow much. But then life doesn't have to be difficult too. Indeed, when I'm tired of living. We all must suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret or disappointment.
Alright, I've emptied my bottle, time to get some action done. Study.
The Pursuit of Happyness
15 years ago
