Exams: Semester 1.2

Right now I'm in the midst of my exams. Sad to say I've lost much of my momentum which I've garnered for some time. I've been studying hard for the past few weeks and as time kept passing by even till now, I become more and more distracted. My future path whether changing course or army, financial problem, holiday plans, relationships with friends, family woes, affairs of the heart, and other issues which I can't think of now.

My school life and family is seriously putting me off, and I started to slack. Eating unhealthy food especially donuts and playing viwawa for the entire weekend. Instead of becoming stronger, I've grown weaker, by the nonsense of others. Their actions and words, my interpretations and expectations are distracting my priorities. I always want to put a stop to it, but its happening and I can't just close my eyes, shut my ears, pinch my nose, seal my mouth and pretend nothing happened.

I'm stressed throughout these times, what's different is the type of stress. Last few weeks, I've been rushing through my projects and being very productive, meeting deadlines after deadlines, and scoring better than ever for my lecture quizzes. So stress that surprisingly I don't feel hungry when it's time when I suppose to, and did not even bother about movies at all; and been staying late in school to study. That's good stress! Because that's when I started to like my subjects and gained confidence in staying in my current course.

Then not long after, the stress turns bad... Stress due to fear. Fear of losing, being neglected, failing, lonliness, financial problems and losing control over myself. All those negative feelings start to drop by and won't move on. I'm getting more and more tired.

I'm going to study now. I really hope I can do well for this exam.

There's so much to worry about... even losing my loved ones... emotionally or even, physically.

Olivia Ong - Singapore's Best!

Isn't she beautiful? As much as her voice is. Wait a minute, is the last picture her? It looks a bit like her and also not like her too, I simply can't tell the difference! One fine day in November last year, I happened to walk past a CD shop just outside the marina square cinema, and the moment I heard her singing (First Of May), I was mesmerised by her voice. Unfortunately at that time, I couldn't afford to buy her album. And several times thereafter, I could only walk pass the shop and listen to the speaker playing her album. And a few days ago, I finally own her album! The song uploaded into this blog, All out of love, is sung by her and is my favourite out of her songs in the album, "Fall in love with Olivia".

Class Formal Presentation

That's the sweet lil' Sharon, and me with my then curled hair...
Candid shot
Hunks of A7D6
Check out the one with the shades!
My buddy!
That's me with a neater hairdo and more hunks of A7D6!

So why all of the sudden do we all dressed up to kill? That's because we had our Communication Skills for Applied Science's Formal Powerpoint Presentation. Sounds like a big deal uh huh? Practically speaking, actually it does matters alot, because it is known as the hardest component to get distinction, making this module the hardest to score. Anyway, we pulled through it and all best for our results!

Marina Mandarin Singapore

Some pictures taken during an evening spent in the lounge of Marina Mandarin. One of the most ideal location to relax and chill out in Singapore. The minus point is the price! You see the musicians? They are very talented! Their music just make the atmosphere oh so heavenly...

Happy Lunar New Year

Haven't update for almost a month long! Happy lunar new year!

This year's lunar new year is special as the holiday is longer than usual. For the first four days, I went back to Mac and worked. Haven't stepped in there as a crew for half a year and I really missed working there. Waking up at 5.15am each morning, started work at 6am all the way till 2-3pm. Fortunately, its fun working in the kitchen, if not it'll be a drag to wake up.

This year's reunion dinner took a different turn; I did not had it with my parents. There's some mishaps going on here and there and who knows, I may end up homeless one day. I even slept early during new year's eve, unlike any other years whereby I'll watch Channel 8 new year's celebration and stay up to 'shou swaye'.

The atmosphere of the red festive wasn't there for me. Well, I wanted to take a trip down to Chinatown or Esplanade's River Hong Bao, but was very busy and too tired and not bothered to ask my friends to go with me.

Last tuesday, I went for an interview at the MOE headquarters for my Home-Econs Teacher Scheme application. Well, I kinda have a bad feeling regarding this 20min interview. No matter what, it's over and I've done my best for it. So whether I get in or not, I'll accept.

This issue about changing course, has also shine the light at a different angle on me. My feeling is like, 'sad to leave, yet sad to stay'. It's something like a Catch-22 situation, or simply a lose-lose situation. It has already been a well-established information in my course about my departure. Because I begun telling everyone that I want to quit ever since I had tha idea since last August during my holidays. I was very driven to quit then, all the way until November. It's only during the month of December onwards that I put quitting matters to domain and study for my current course.

Back then, my poor results, lack of friendships, lack of interests, too many commitments, immaturity, builds up the hype that makes me wants to leave. but right now, my results are improving, have more friendships, interest in the subjects grows, less CCAs commitments and becoming more mature, and therefore the need to leave actually dimmed. The pushing factor may have decrease but the pulling factor has still remained the same, which is $$$ and career.

As mentioned, I'm in a dilemma, or lose-lose situation. In which I'm sad in either both path, unlike back then when I become happy when I can transfer to another course. Surprisingly, the factors are actually the same as the above! Ones which makes me want to stay! It's as if I've established an equilibrium between the direction to stay and to leave.

Exam starts next Friday. I have to study hard. Anyway, surprisingly I begin to like my mathematics subject, especially statistics. All thanks to my friend who tutored me for it and the statistics book he lend me, which arouse my interest in statistics. Well, when I was introduced by my lecturer to statistics, I was greatly fascinated by the creation of this particular branch of mathematics and how intelligent we Man are to be able to formulate such methods and tables! It is just so interesting!

Right now, my favourite subject is Organic Chemistry because I love to draw mechanisms!