Weirenism

New Link

2008-09-11T01:34:00.001+08:00

The new link, http://weirenism.wordpress.com

MOVE TO A NEW BLOG

2008-09-05T15:37:00.003+08:00

I HAVE MOVED TO A NEW BLOG. THIS WILL BE THE LAST UPDATE FOR THIS BLOG. IF YOU WANT TO LINK OR KNOW MY NEW BLOG, PLEASE EMAIL ME AT THE FOLLOWING ADDRESS. zach_wr@hotmail. OR CALL ME IF YOU HAVE MY NUMBER.

THANK YOU.

Some Cute Pictures!

2008-03-23T18:07:00.004+08:00

So cuteee!!!!

Walllllllllllllllll E!
Hearrrrrs a WHO!
Kung Fu Panda!
1 vs 1 !

The 3 Hamsteers!
So adorable!!!
my hamsters!

West District Camp 2008

2008-03-23T17:37:00.007+08:00

Holidays

2008-03-23T11:32:00.002+08:00

It's been way back since you saw any updates from here. Because I usually go to www.viwawa.com to play "Whajong" or "Big 2.5"!

The first thing which I'm proud to say is my school results. I didn't do very well, but improved alot. It doesn't prove that I'm a good student, but it does show something, which is there is still hope for me to survive through my current course. Though my gpa will never rise up to meet the entry requirement for university studies, but that doesn't mean I cannot score well for my next few modules.

The course which I tried to get into for the past few months, didn't accept me. That course is Diploma in Consumer Science Technology. Which can assure me a steady cashflow all the way till I'm 28 years old, which includes a 5-years bond with MOE, working as a home-economics teacher. Well, it doesn't affects me much, as if being a home-econ teacher is something to die for. Not even the cash is something to die for... But then I'm still trying to get out of chem eng. During the first week of next semester, is the transfer period. And I'll try to transfer to psychology or business study grouping or communications & media and management or aviation management and services. All these courses are nothing new to me. I've thought of choosing these courses last time and some were in my choices when choosing for a course. All these courses are in my spectrum of interest and relevant to my future. Because, I want to be in the psychology field, I want to be an entrepreneur, I want to have a good command in english, communicate well and write books, and also perhaps handling aircrafts and travelling around in the aviation field. But of course, stopping at diploma level is definitely not enough and I want to go USA for further studies next time. Well, other than the aviation field part, I'm sure I can fulfill the remaining ambitions. Aviation is merely on interest and money, but the other three is much more.

Three weeks ago, I co-ordinated a special operation, which includes 11 people excluding me. And the mission is to give out 8150 name cards in two days. Well, its not my name cards but is to advertise for science and maths tuition. The operation includes many of my current coursemates, my ex-classmates and ex-schoolmates. The operation has failed if were to speak technically, as there still left 800 cards, but then overall I'm still happy with it. A big THANK YOU to those who are in my team! Team Zach all the way! It was very fun! We have 6 teams and each were assigned to different schools. Before that, everyone came to my house, and when there's so many people, it just make my house looks so small, just like during chinese new year! I really enjoy it because these people are whom I've love to work with; friends whom I really like and appreciates. But of course, problems always crop up. We were late and missed the dismissal time for some schools. Some of my team members want to quit due to too many rejections from the public for rejecting the name cards. Some want to leave earlier. There's great times, such as a team whom were just right for the dismissal time and gave out to almost everyone in that school! There's some took initiative to get more friends to come along and help to give the name cards. Good job!

After that, I begin to focus on giving out flyers for the same tuition services. The first trip was enjoyable, because I love being with her. The second, third and fourth trip too! Although the people in all the trips were different. For the first trip, we, me and my friend, gave out to the whole of the Kallang Airport/Dakota/Cassia Crescent Estate! The second and third did not make any estate trips, but for the fourth, I gave to the whole of Marine Crescent Estate, and half of Marine Terrace Estate. Next will be either of these: Mountbatten Private Estate, Meyer Road Private Estate, Telok Kurau Private Estate, Marine Parade Road Private Estate, Opera Estate, and Joo Chiat Estate. There is a total of around 9000 paper flyers to be put into the letterbox. The prepack is tedious. We got to stamp it, slice it into halves, and staple it! In fact we have to spent around 2 hours in my house to do all that before we get going. And that's why for the second and third trip, we did not gave out any as it was too late already.

The latest camp I went is West District Camp for red cross youth. I'm the so-called Outdoor Activites 2IC. Whereby I'm responsible to teach outdoor activities such as map-reading, compass reading, knots and lashing, preparation of campfire and so on to the cadets. I also have to plan for the campfire and unfortunately it rained that evening and we had an indoor one, which is still fun! It seems that I've alot of affinity with campfire because as a cadet, during the Unit Leader Programme, ULP, I was the campfire logs i/c. Then during the Volunteer Instructor Programme, VIP, I was the campfire emcee. Then now at the West District Camp, WDC, I was the campfire i/c. HAHA! Photos will be uploaded later.

The next red cross event that I'm doing is a long term one. NDP 2008! From april till 9th august, all my saturdays will be dedicated for this event. Whereby we instructors will be taking care of our cadets, training them for the annual grand parade, from internal trainings, to trainings in army camps, all the way to marina bay! Back in 2005, as a cadet I took part in NDP @Padang. And the experience is awesome. Now back as an instructor, I hope the experience will be more fun and enjoyable! My role in the team is Logistics OIC. The trend is like this: the heaviest instructor in the team will be in charge of logistics. HAHA! It's just a joke. Because the past logistics i/c are all just like me, so big size!

Another red cross stuff that occupies me is my unit back in Broadrick. Right now is the Speech Day period and I've introduced something called the 'Speech Day Challenge' to the unit. It's about a set of rules and a point system. Marks will be deducted for any rules broken and the cadet with the most marks will win the Challenge! The duration is during any of the Speech Day trainings. Right now, some of the cadets are taking this very seriously and i'm happy about it. But some just don't give a damn. But it's alright, I believe sooner or later they will.

The ambitious me wants to do something bigger. And I'll be organising the Broadrick Combined UGs Camp 2008. Whereby I'll have this massive camp with members of Red Cross Youth, NPCC, NCC, Girl Guides and the Concert/Military Band joining in. If everything goes smoothly, the camp will be held at the end of May. Needless to say, I just might be doing campfire again, who knows! Unless I pass it on to others to do it.

Now is holidays and that means, WORKING! Sometime ago, I landed myself working in the Banquet department of Singapore's only six-star hotel, Ritz-Carlton Millenia, Singapore. It was fun and interesting, the working environment is classy and get to make many new friends. There's even babes working alongside with me too! =p Unfortunately, on the second day of work, I made a big mistake and got shown the exit sign, and never to return again. Well, some situation cannot afford to have mistakes, and that happens to be one of them. I've been jobless for about two weeks and now waiting for news from other hotels which I've called up. If I cannot earn enough cash by the end of this holiday... the consequence won't be nice.

When it comes to family matters, it is always the hardest to move on. Decisions and actions are hard to make. My mother has changed, and if I don't do something, that change will be too over-bearing and ends up bad.

Since last week, I caught flu and feeling very lathargic all day long. It's like I sleep late around 2-3am and automatically wakes up at 10-11am. And when I want to sleep longer, I can't, yet I still feel not fully awake and very tired. And for the rest of the day feeling tired and quiet. It actually hinders me alot. I can't march well and conduct my trainings well, I have no energy for the gym, I feel moody all the time and so on. I hope it gets over soon.

I went to watch Step Up 2 twice! I really love to watch street dancing and want to be like them too! If I were to be fit and muscular in the future, one thing I'm going to do is to form a dance crew, compose my own dance hit, choreograph my own dance steps and hit the floor! This depends if the passion still survives through the years ahead.

I've finally learned finish playing Jay Chou's: The Secret - 20 Years Later! As featured in the youtube videos below!

I plan to do my reading this holiday! That's just so many books that I want to read up on!

With so many things to do, it feels good. =p

Secret 20 years Tutorial

2008-03-13T07:26:00.009+08:00

This is how I learn to play.

Secret 20 years foward/back - Jay Chou

2008-03-13T07:26:00.007+08:00

周杰伦 Jay Chou 加長快不能說的秘密琴室 Secret played by Amos (retry)

2008-03-13T07:26:00.003+08:00

Cher Hearts Jay - 不能说的秘密 - 去20年前 (加快长版)

2008-03-13T07:26:00.001+08:00

Increible Beatboxing Frances

2008-03-13T07:22:00.001+08:00

This is totally awesome!

Exams: Semester 1.2

2008-02-25T00:15:00.002+08:00

Right now I'm in the midst of my exams. Sad to say I've lost much of my momentum which I've garnered for some time. I've been studying hard for the past few weeks and as time kept passing by even till now, I become more and more distracted. My future path whether changing course or army, financial problem, holiday plans, relationships with friends, family woes, affairs of the heart, and other issues which I can't think of now.

My school life and family is seriously putting me off, and I started to slack. Eating unhealthy food especially donuts and playing viwawa for the entire weekend. Instead of becoming stronger, I've grown weaker, by the nonsense of others. Their actions and words, my interpretations and expectations are distracting my priorities. I always want to put a stop to it, but its happening and I can't just close my eyes, shut my ears, pinch my nose, seal my mouth and pretend nothing happened.

I'm stressed throughout these times, what's different is the type of stress. Last few weeks, I've been rushing through my projects and being very productive, meeting deadlines after deadlines, and scoring better than ever for my lecture quizzes. So stress that surprisingly I don't feel hungry when it's time when I suppose to, and did not even bother about movies at all; and been staying late in school to study. That's good stress! Because that's when I started to like my subjects and gained confidence in staying in my current course.

Then not long after, the stress turns bad... Stress due to fear. Fear of losing, being neglected, failing, lonliness, financial problems and losing control over myself. All those negative feelings start to drop by and won't move on. I'm getting more and more tired.

I'm going to study now. I really hope I can do well for this exam.

There's so much to worry about... even losing my loved ones... emotionally or even, physically.

Olivia Ong - Singapore's Best!

2008-02-23T00:16:00.002+08:00

Isn't she beautiful? As much as her voice is. Wait a minute, is the last picture her? It looks a bit like her and also not like her too, I simply can't tell the difference! One fine day in November last year, I happened to walk past a CD shop just outside the marina square cinema, and the moment I heard her singing (First Of May), I was mesmerised by her voice. Unfortunately at that time, I couldn't afford to buy her album. And several times thereafter, I could only walk pass the shop and listen to the speaker playing her album. And a few days ago, I finally own her album! The song uploaded into this blog, All out of love, is sung by her and is my favourite out of her songs in the album, "Fall in love with Olivia".

Class Formal Presentation

2008-02-22T22:31:00.002+08:00

That's the sweet lil' Sharon, and me with my then curled hair...
Candid shot
Hunks of A7D6
Check out the one with the shades!
My buddy!
That's me with a neater hairdo and more hunks of A7D6!

So why all of the sudden do we all dressed up to kill? That's because we had our Communication Skills for Applied Science's Formal Powerpoint Presentation. Sounds like a big deal uh huh? Practically speaking, actually it does matters alot, because it is known as the hardest component to get distinction, making this module the hardest to score. Anyway, we pulled through it and all best for our results!

Marina Mandarin Singapore

2008-02-22T22:11:00.004+08:00

Some pictures taken during an evening spent in the lounge of Marina Mandarin. One of the most ideal location to relax and chill out in Singapore. The minus point is the price! You see the musicians? They are very talented! Their music just make the atmosphere oh so heavenly...

Happy Lunar New Year

2008-02-16T01:28:00.004+08:00

Haven't update for almost a month long! Happy lunar new year!

This year's lunar new year is special as the holiday is longer than usual. For the first four days, I went back to Mac and worked. Haven't stepped in there as a crew for half a year and I really missed working there. Waking up at 5.15am each morning, started work at 6am all the way till 2-3pm. Fortunately, its fun working in the kitchen, if not it'll be a drag to wake up.

This year's reunion dinner took a different turn; I did not had it with my parents. There's some mishaps going on here and there and who knows, I may end up homeless one day. I even slept early during new year's eve, unlike any other years whereby I'll watch Channel 8 new year's celebration and stay up to 'shou swaye'.

The atmosphere of the red festive wasn't there for me. Well, I wanted to take a trip down to Chinatown or Esplanade's River Hong Bao, but was very busy and too tired and not bothered to ask my friends to go with me.

Last tuesday, I went for an interview at the MOE headquarters for my Home-Econs Teacher Scheme application. Well, I kinda have a bad feeling regarding this 20min interview. No matter what, it's over and I've done my best for it. So whether I get in or not, I'll accept.

This issue about changing course, has also shine the light at a different angle on me. My feeling is like, 'sad to leave, yet sad to stay'. It's something like a Catch-22 situation, or simply a lose-lose situation. It has already been a well-established information in my course about my departure. Because I begun telling everyone that I want to quit ever since I had tha idea since last August during my holidays. I was very driven to quit then, all the way until November. It's only during the month of December onwards that I put quitting matters to domain and study for my current course.

Back then, my poor results, lack of friendships, lack of interests, too many commitments, immaturity, builds up the hype that makes me wants to leave. but right now, my results are improving, have more friendships, interest in the subjects grows, less CCAs commitments and becoming more mature, and therefore the need to leave actually dimmed. The pushing factor may have decrease but the pulling factor has still remained the same, which is $$$ and career.

As mentioned, I'm in a dilemma, or lose-lose situation. In which I'm sad in either both path, unlike back then when I become happy when I can transfer to another course. Surprisingly, the factors are actually the same as the above! Ones which makes me want to stay! It's as if I've established an equilibrium between the direction to stay and to leave.

Exam starts next Friday. I have to study hard. Anyway, surprisingly I begin to like my mathematics subject, especially statistics. All thanks to my friend who tutored me for it and the statistics book he lend me, which arouse my interest in statistics. Well, when I was introduced by my lecturer to statistics, I was greatly fascinated by the creation of this particular branch of mathematics and how intelligent we Man are to be able to formulate such methods and tables! It is just so interesting!

Right now, my favourite subject is Organic Chemistry because I love to draw mechanisms!

Womendynamics

2008-01-24T22:02:00.000+08:00

My newly introduced module for next semester for my engineering course: Womendynamics.

It's just so depressing...

2008-01-20T14:11:00.000+08:00

Ever since the 2nd week of school for this term, my mind hasn't had much peace. One problem after another. One trauma after another. Day by day, it just get worse. Day by day, it weigh me down. Parents, grandpa, friends, projects, term tests, and most of all myself. These are the various tools, episodes, opportunities for various aspects and lessons; loveability, courage, priotization, forgiveness, willingness, expectation, the four agreements, clarification, acceptance, discipline, mentality.

I just feel over-bearing. This time I didn't really hate myself very much, but I lack the willlingness and effort to move on. To sum it up, it is the act of paralysis in me which I find is the main aspect. As Hilarion pointed it out, it is the manifestation of my karma. Ways and which self-sabotage, self-judgment and stopping myself are happening to me. This is the root of who I am today.

As my life coach put it, "If you want to know the past, to know what caused you, look at yourself in the Present, for that is the past's effect. If you want to know your future, look at your Present, for that is the cause of the future."

Who I am now, feeling depressed, overwhelmed, is cause by what I did and thought in the past. Who I am down the road, will be caused by what I do and think now. If I'm paralyse in the past, as well as now, my future will be the same as the past. This is what some called, the vicious downward spiral.

Initially, I have yet to straightened out my thought until very much later so, because I was too depressed to think of whatever thought I have. Somehow, the idea of 'chicken and egg' came out of nowhere.

Which came first? Chicken or the egg? It's somewhat analogous to my issues. Is it my paralysis that makes me unwilling and therefore come problems, or is it my unwillingness cause more problems and hence paralysis.

The underlying concept of the chicken and egg is the idea of 'circular cause and consequence'. The concept of the cause which leads to the consequence leads back to the cause, in which case serves at a circulatory function. When this phenomena prolongs and deepens the problem, it forms a spiral going downwards.

One day I discussed with my mentor, having to learn that a problem and its solution is very separate. The whole picture is the issue itself, which encompass the problem and solution. This is somewhat hard to digest and apply, because, to find the solution within the problem is, not easy.

I feels that I'm in the middle of a place which I'm stuck in, and I've no idea of where am I. And I'm analysing, interpreting, measuring, experimenting, rationalizing my surroundings, hoping to know why I'm stuck, how to get out of this place, what is this place, where am I currently whether I'm near the exit, when will I get out of this place. Trying to make sense of the thing I'm in. I don't know, I can't put it in language, the thought is really mind-boggling, and to have a disorganized thought disorder, it is even more challenging.

Having seen the view of the primary level, I've look at it at the secondary level, the mechanics.

There's a fable about a fox, which upon failing to reach for the grapes hanged high up on the tree branch, said, "The grapes are sour anyway!". This lies in the concept of Rationalization. Sigmund Freud categories it as a form of defense mechanism, whereby a person uses his intellect to find consolation or justification so as not to experience the emotions which are hurtful or unwanted.

It is believed that rationalization is the outcome of cognitive dissonance, which represents the uncomfortable tension resulting from two conflicting thoughts. Apparently, I've yet discover more about this and will have to explore the relationship between these two concepts. But, the experience of this tension is very familiar to me. It explain why, I say and agree on something and do otherwise: double standardness.

The relation moves on, like a spectrum, or rather, something like a archery board. I couldn't describe it well, because the pattern seems to possess many levels but it also seems like all of it is of equality whereby it all comes together as a package instead of like a staircase. Well, as disturbing as it may sound, I come across myself as having the symptoms of schizophrenia. Ways and which, delusions, disorganised speeches and thoughts and sometimes hallucinations. Holding on to beliefs, which are already proven wrong or false, difficulty communicating and sometimes speaking condradictingly, defensively, offensively and even speaking what I don't want to speak about.

I've learn that it may be caused by childhood, whereby I've been exposed to 'double bindness'. It is a situation which the receiver receives contradictory messages from the other end. Instances whereby a mother claims to love her son, yet threatens or punish him, whilst the son receiving two different message at different communcative levels. And because a young child couldn't understand what is contradiction and therefore doesn't know how to respond. A child lose its ability to return love. As he grows, the issue grows too, branching out to more issues.

Having being exposed to double bindness at a frequent level, schizophrenia develops. Which give rise to cognitive dissonance and then rationalization and others which I've yet found out. What I'm doing right now, blogging this out, and finding this and that, may be considered a form of consolation and rationalization, it doesn't really solve the problem, or rather, haven't solve the problem.

Last week, I cried alot; in school during lecture and breaks, during buses. The most was when I visited my grandma's ashes last sunday. When I saw her photo ever since ten years ago, I cried out loudly, in front of my relatives. Well, most of the time I could held back my tears due to ego but that time I couldn't held any longer. It didn't stop for that day. From then on when I recalled her photo, I'll cry. In fact, tears are coming out right now while I'm typing this. The thing is I've a blurred idea of why I'm crying. I couldn't understand this part of myself. I remembered that druing her funeral which lasted for 7 days, I did not ever cried once at the funeral during the night, but I recalled vividly crying out of sudden when I was in primary school in class. Really out of sudden, whining 'my grandma had passed away'. I've always believed that I'd caused her suicide, because having to lived with my grandparents ever since I was born, and suddenly my parents brought me home. The next day, she's gone. I was primary two then. And now ten years later, the grieve reappeared in which I couldn't control my emotions.

My term test results was demoralising. I was very upset by it. Although I improved by failing just one instead of two, as well as scoring higher than before, I thought I could have done better.

I also felt friendless. No one else to talk to but a few. Like for my class, I kind of feel inferior because I don't seems to fit into any of the cliques. And even my new friends, I seems to feel that I'm a stranger to them. It is this issue which I identified with circular cause and effect as mentioned above. It is something like a self-fulfilling prophecy too. Between my antisocial behaviour and my friendship with others. Fear of rejection which ultimately leads to the subject of the fear.

Sometimes I just wish that I can replay my life, see how I live and correct my mistakes. Because I realise most of the time I'm doing what I don't want to do, being who I don't want to be, and I don't know what I'm doing. A lost child.

One of my resolutions stated below is to keep the number of bad days low. I hope after this period, I'll have good days all the way.

A New Year

2008-01-06T23:37:00.000+08:00

Well, its been a week into the new year. It is this very week which determines whether a 'new year resolution' works for the person. If it still works tomorrow, then probably it'll work for the rest of the year. If not, then try another resolution.

My resolutions seems to be increasing yearly. Because some will be the same as past years like losing weight. It sounds embarassing but that's the truth!

Goal for 2008:
To get into Consumer Science and Technology. Well, if I can't get in, maybe I'll stay put.
Do my best for my current modules.
To get my hands on Yamaha's DGX-620 and learn to play Forbidden Love, The Secret and 'Jay Chou's Duet Piece'.
Buy my favourite books. Guess what, my wish list are topped with many books! Seems nerdy ya? I just can't help appreciate the interesting knowledge that books bring to people.

What I have mostly at long term goals; goals that rest not for a year but for the many there is to come.

Long-term goals:
Be a better man. I know it sounds cliche but what else do you call it that's not cliche? Be a nice guy?

Be a good friend. It's almost like the 1st goal but more specific. I'm not saying I'm not a good friend all these while, but I can certainly be better, especially to some of my friends before I lose them.

Know Thyself. What is more important than ownself? Certainly self-awareness is the key to success!

Not being a perfectionist. It's quite tough, but putting effort into it.

Be a good leader. Specifically for my Red Cross Unit. This year onwards, my senior will be stepping down and that makes me a senior, with two new junior instructor and one whole unit to take care of. I do have grear plans for it. Well, as the saying goes, "Words shows one's wit, and Action shows one Intention." Saying is easy, but to get things done isn't.

Be an efficient communicator/speaker. That's one big problem I have; disorganised thoughts and speeches. I suspect having schizophrenia. And I aim to be an "Accredited Competent Toastmaster". That's what they called it in Toastmasters when you have attained a certain standard.

Learn to play piano- the proper way. Well, I need $$$ for lessons!

Improve my english. I want to be an author someday, writing my own books. Be it fictional, self-help, inspirational, spiritual, scientific, biography. All of those!

Be a movie-maker. How wonderful it'll be if I can bring my books alive! You don't see J.K. Rowling as a director ya? It seems too far-fetched, but anything is possible!

Be discipline. This is one big trump card. If I'm very disciplined, I won't be who I am today, seriously.

Be consistent with The Four Agreements. Speak impeccably. Don't take anything personally. Don't make assumptions. Always do your best. It may sound easy, but it isn't!

Save money. I didn't save much this year.

Be fit and in shape. Nothing surprising...

Be alive. I'm known as a rationalizer/complicater to my life coach. Having to think too much and spend no time getting back to reality and start living.

Journey on my spiritual path. Its up and going. Being able to start at this age is a privilege.

Helping my friends to embark on their spiritual path. This is difficult! Well, I guess I can't handle it now, and probably will have to wait a few more years.

Cut down on the number of bad days. Some days of the year must be bad, I would like to cope with it better, and to minimise its occurance. Thinking back the number of suicidal days...

Learn to say 'No'. Well, I'd always been a 'yes-man'.

Relationships. Well, after a recent attempt, I've pretty much get it out of the system. But then its like deleting the icon you see on the desktop, but the actual program is still there. I'm really a libra, who fell in love with love. Sounds cool ya? I just hope that I won't screw myself up this time round.

Learn to roller-skate. Sound so random! But I always like the idea of blading to school or wherever I go!

To travel overseas with my friends. Just thinking of it makes me excited! If it's with guy friends, I'd like to go Miami, or Las Vegas, or Tokyo. If it's with my future girlfriend then I'd like to go to Paris, Kyoto, Seattle, England, Hong Kong, Genting Highlands. There's some attactions which I want to go someday like Mt. Rushmore in South Dakota, Niagara Falls in New York, Grand Canyon in Arizona and some others which I can't think of.

I'm too tired to think of any at the moment. That's it for now. Have a great week ahead!

As A Red Cross Cadet

2008-01-06T20:36:00.000+08:00

Movie: As A Red Cross Cadet

Director: Zachary Ong Wei Ren

Executive Producer: Zachary Ong Wei Ren

Studio: Weirenism Creations Inc.

Distributor: Weirenism Pictures International

Rating: G

Running Time: 5 minutes

Release Date: 12th January

Cast: Myself, some other instructors, teachers, Broadrick cadets, and cadets from Bravo Division of RCY Challenge 2008

Exclusive Premiere: Broadrick Sec. School CCA Orientation 2008

I made a video for my school unit, hoping it'll help us to recruit 15-20 sec 1s.

If you're a red cross cadet or once a cadet, tell me if it's interesting or not.

If you're not a red cross cadet,tell me if it makes you wanna join red cross!

This is my first time making a movie, and I really like what I've done, although I know that there's alot of improvment that can be done.

Enjoy!

Movies 2008

2008-01-04T17:09:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year!

As a movie lover, I'm so happy that this year will release many good movies! I remember the last time I felt very much for movies was in 2002/03. That was went Spiderman, and Star Wars: Episode II, and the 1st installment of Harry Potter. That was the start of my fondness of cinema-going. But then during my lower secondary days, there weren't many good movies in the box office. The atmosphere wasn't there. Well, good movies bring sensations. And sometimes people like me gets addicted to these sensations. And I believe, 2008 will provide this sensations adequately throughout the whole year!

"Must Watch!" Movies 5 stars

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (sure rocks!)
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (It's a yearly affair!)
Iron Man (sounds exciting!)
The Dark Knight (I never missed any of his movie before!)
Spawn II (my childhood superhero!)
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (I just love Mummy!)
The Incredible Hulk (a re-make of the green monster)
James Bond 22 (the first ever bond movie to be a sequel of the previous installment)
Hellboy: The Golden Army (the 1st movie is very nice!)
Rambo IV (I missed three of it and not gonna miss this one!)
The Forbidden Kingdom (Jackie Chan! Jet Li!)

"I don't mind watching" Movies 4 stars

The Eye (Jessica Alba!!!)
Horton Hears a Who! (That funny cartoon elephant trailer!)
Speed Racers (fast and furious yet again!)
Star Trek (won't be a disappointing one!)
Ah-Long Limited (an annual CNY treat from Jack Neo)
Kung Fu Dunk (no more piano-playing, ball this time!)
CJ 7 (Stephen Chow's new trick up his sleeves)
Cloverfield (something like Godzilla...)
The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (I'll try to watch the 1st movie if not I'll skip this too...)
Punisher: War Zone (another comic tale...)
Babylon A.D. (Vin Diesel, Michelle Yeoh...there's gotta be lots of action!)
Step Up 2: The Streets (keeps my feet moving!)
Goal! 2: Living the Dream... (see my friend gregory wanna watch)
Goal! 3 (release still not confirmed)
Madagascar 2: The Crate Escape (the first one was funny!)
Ace Ventura Jr. (man, Jim Carrey's not in it!)
Day of the Dead (it should be good)
The Day the Earth Stood Still (sounds cool!)
In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (I don't play the game...)

"See how first..." Movies 3 stars

Meet the Spartans (not another parody...)
Superhero! (looks not bad...)
Mad Money (a good time-passer)
The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A Veggietales Movie (I don't know what to say! Veggies?!)
10,000 BC (I'm interested in history, not really prehistoric ones though)
Shutter (a re-make, shall see then)
Angels and Demons ( I didn't see Da Vinci Code...)
The Time Traveller's Wife (sci-fi romance)
Scary Movie 5 (another scary movie...)
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (interesting storyline...)
Australia (a war movie starring Nicole Kidman)
The Box (some horror flick)
Possession (starring Sarah Michelle Gellar)
Starship Dave (a sci-fi comedy)
Wall-E (another pixar animation about some cute robots)

Farewell 2007...

2007-12-30T03:28:00.000+08:00

The Year of Pig is coming to an end soon. And it is time to recollect the days, thinking back the experiences, and finally detaching from it, and look forward to the new year.

Beginning of the Year- January to Feburary
For ten years prior to 2007, I've always started the year with the First Day of School. But this year was something different. I still remember how awkward it felt then. Because I was working at that time. Thinking of the first quarter of 2007, arises the smell of Changi Airport. I've worked there for 10months and spent most of my time working before I start schooling. I love my job, because of its nature: Food. I'm a juicer. Well, just like those working in Starbucks, just that instead of coffee, I'm working on fruits. That's where I regain all the weight I lose during the last six months of 2006! What a waste! But then I got back to my regime a few months later, which I'll share soon.

I watched a whole lot of movies during those days! At least two or three films a week! I was working the midnight shift most of the time, and slept for a few hours after reached home at around nine in the morning, and meet up with my various group of friends for a show in the late afternoon. We went to orchard most of the time, particularly Orchard Cineleisure. I'm just so attracted to that place!

I joined Red Cross's Volunteer Instructors' Programme, VIP for short. I felt that I should make my vision for my school unit comes true, and by doing that I decided to be a VI. It occupied alot of time too, for a camp and various trainings and meetings. Well it did paid off when I pass the programme eventually, and being a Broadrick Red Cross Unit VI now.

So my life was work, movies and Red Cross, until O level results came...

The big 'O' Results- February
O for 'O' Levels and nothing else please. Well I was happy with my results and didn't expect to do that well, 12 points for L1R4! Gave myself a big treat at Botak Jones on that faithful Day with friends. And then came choosing the next path to take...

Choice of tertiary education- February to March
Well, my parents strongly discouraged me to opt for JC. Well, I was considering that route, but with 16 points in hand, I have very limited choices of JC to go to. So I narrowed down to Polytechnic. Since TP is the nearest for me, I narrowed it down further. Design School is clearing not my type and Engineering School seems too technical for me. So I left with Business and Applied Science to choose from. But wait, I like a course very much which is in engineering school though the diploma is of business nature: Diploma of Aviation Management and Services. I liked it so much that I thought about it everyday for a week or two. Then words from others started to influence me to hold back from the course. I was warned that getting a good job was hard with that diploma. That meant alot to me because one of my main criteria for choosing is the job prospect; and bingo! That brings us to why I chose my current course.

It started all with one fine day during the open house, and I happened to bump to a lecturer, a chemical engineer course lecturer. Indeed, his persuasive skills were terrific! So much so that I was very tempted to join this course. He 'promise' that I'll have a bright future that will deliver large salary with this diploma. I discussed it with my family and friends, and it turns out that they strongly encourages me to join it, and it turned out to be a huge family and peer pressure. On top of that, I thought that I can receive help from my mentor for this course, and hopefully will make my studies in this course easier for me. Moreover, since I got distinction for science for 'O' Levels, I thought why couldn't I do as well for it at diploma level? So, with the desire for a lavishing career, choosing a course which would please my family and friends, expecting it to be not as hard aferall, and thought that it was my cup of tea, I chose Chemical Engineering as my first choice.

But wait a minute, did you see interest as one of the reason for my choice? Isn't interest a big factor for doing something? For myself, I believe that I can only excel if I'm doing something of my own interest, and enjoying doing what I'm doing. I would most likely give up if I do things for a reason. And without considering these factors while choosing the course, I made a terrible mistake by chosing Chemical Engineering. I ignored my own interests for the sake of, wanting to have a good career which I can earn alot from; pleasing my friends and family by choosing this course which they want me to go; because I can get external help and get to slack more; that it wouldn't be as difficult as I thought and while thinking that I'll start to like it over time.

On the last day of Orientation, I felt the smallest ache of regret while receiving my time-table and looking at the subjects I'm going to take. And on the first day of school, on the first lesson which was Engineering Mathematics, I regretted joining this course. Sounds stupid doesn't it? Worse, I got complacent because of my 'O' Levels result and underestimated the difficulties of the subjects, coupled with lack of interest to study, and I gotten bad results at the end of the day.

Doing something for a reason lacks the motivation, determination, eagerness from within oneself. These will then comes from the outside and can only work when one feels the rewards by doing what he had done. For instance, money can only be a good motivator if I receives money while studying, and not wishing I can earn alot of money after I graduate because it hasn't happen! Isn't it foolish to keep thinking of the future and not bothering about the present? And how about the reason which is pleasing family and friends. Alright they're please, and the end. They get back to their lives and I'm stuck with mine! So what if I got more help when I don't have the willingness to study? And end up being complacent just because I can get extra help from my mentor?

I made it a point to treat it as a lesson. Never to ignore personal interest; do what I like to do, and don't do it because of whatever. Secondly, don't let others influence me easily because it is my life, and no one is responsible for me other than myself.

This mistake affects the rest of the year...

Semester 1- April to July
Because at tertiary level where the standard is definitely higher than 'O' Levels, it requires genuine studying and not merely 'surface' studying, to do vey well. And so, realising that I have indeed no interest at all and my dislike for mathematics was at its max, I just couldn't study. I naturally diverted more time to red cross, something which is of my interest. It's like, you're with a wife whom you're bored of and suddenly a sexy lady wants to date you. Naturally you'd spend more time with the latter right? So for most of Semester 1, I was escaping reality. I was escaping from the boring wife by finding the sexy lady to be with. But that doesn't change reality that I'll be with the boring wife for good. And eventually the marriage will end up to no good. And that is analogous to my bad results.

During Term 2, I even went back to work frequently on mid-night shift and went to school right after work in the morning! I attend school just for the sake of going and felt very unhappy. Unhappy with my situation and find fault with myself for sabotaging myself. During this four to five months I was in a state of depression. I wasn't living fully at all.

2-month Vacation- August to October
During the vacation, I decided to leave this course. So I was looking around for a course to change to, and looked for my current course manager and told him my decision. This two month of holiday was the comeback of my regime. I hit back to the gym and ran around Bedok Reservoir. I was so fired up that I ran from my house all the way to Bedok Reservoir and ran around it. My longest run was from my house to Bedok Reservoir, which is around twice the distance of Bedok Reservoir, and ran two rounds of the reservoir! Making it four rounds in total! I was so happy that time. And after that run on that night, I was told that running was not good and advised not to run so often. My drive went all the way down and felt like giving up, but fortunately I didn't.

During that time, I started became a vegetarian and fruitarian. And seriously, I didn't eat any meat at all! From around August all the way till end of October! And during this period of time, my mood got better through the healthy habits. And not to forget, I shaved my head to remind myself not to be the same guy as the person who still had the hair! I reassure myself to change. And my hair wasn't waste shaving afterall.

I was working too during the holidays until I was retrenched by my company, when it closes down two out of three outlets in Singapore. And until now, I'm jobless. And I doesn't like the process of finding a job very much. I guess everyone doesn't like it too.

Semester Two, Term 1- October to December
I started it out reluctantly. And for the 2nd and 3rd week, I missed alot of lessons, tutorials and even lab. I was eager to leave the course, and even when to seek for jobs. Because I thought that since I'm going to leave anyway, why study and might as well earn some money first.

However, one day, on CCN Day, I began to think likewise. Then, I completed reading Tuesdays with Morrie and The Five People You Meet In Heaven, both writen by Mitch Albom, and felt that what I'm doing should be stopped. Moreover, my aunt who loved me alot was very upset that I was going to quit. Then suddenly a new friend inspired me, caused me to question my conscience and to rethink of my actions, and show me what hardworking, determination, preseverance and maturity is about.

Because of all these, I began to change little by little. I decided that I want to make my mark before I leave this course. I want to try my best and leave with satisfaction.

Honestly, 2007 wasn't a great year. Well, it could have been better. It could too, be worse, if there wasn't my friends and family, my mentor and life coach, my new friends found to accompany me through the year. Thank you.

Bye bye, 2007!

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

2007-12-30T03:26:00.001+08:00

Try pronoucing the song title!
Welcome to the world of Mary Poppins!

Music Camp 2007

2007-12-30T01:01:00.000+08:00

My group with a renown songwriter.
My group with one of the desciple of Venerable Ming Yi.

That's my group! Group 5!

My groupmates! Both are talented musicians!

Another of my groupmate, and I called her Phyllis Quek! Doesn't she resembles her alot!

The above are memories from the music camp I took part in a two weeks ago at Foo' Hai Monastery. Basically, the camp teaches how to compose songs. The organisers invited various well-known professionals from Asia's music industry. I've forgotten their name though, because some were known to me for the first time, despite being the 'behind the scene' personnels for many famous singers. It's a chinese-medium camp and I get to know more about mandarin pop!

The above were my group members and they're awesome! Some of them are talented musicians too!

Warlords

2007-12-28T23:17:00.000+08:00

A lovely evening it was yesturday with a friend, to indulge on a movie that was deemed 'not nice one...' Well, I was still looking foward to watch it because the trailer that was shown countless times on TV Mobile had captivated me to this epic movie.

Like what I told my friend, "For those who does not have a take-home message after the show, this movie sucks for them, but for those who does learn something, the film is a beautiful story."

Fortunately, this show doesn't sucks for me. The take-home message was what my mentor had always thought me, 'There's no right and wrong; no morals and laws in this world. There's only Cosmoethics. The movie had clearly illustrated it through the lives of three sworn brothers.

For those who watched it, at the end of the day they'll find it very hard to identify who is the bad guy, good guy; the heroes or the villains. And even if they do identify it, it may be just for the sake of identifying. Well, it's so hard because, there's no such things as good guy or bad guy. How can you identify if there's no such things that exist to start with?

To understand this further, Cosmoethics must come into the picture. Well, Hilarion commented on my high Cosmoethic standards! Basically, Cosmoethics means acting towards benefiting the most one can gets. And the benefits here does not refers to your own but for as many people as possible. Many aspects of life can be learnt while evolving towards the high levels of Cosmoethics: Sacrifice, Courage, Faith, Love and so on... It works hand in hand with Karma; it is a spiritual need, a key towards Evolution.

You may need to know the storyline first before proceeding.

http://www.yowazzup.com/2007_12_13/the-warlords-movie-review.html

Pang, the Big Brother, ordered the massarce of 4000 surrendered soldiers. Shooting them endlessly, until all screamed helplessly to their deaths, and chained up the Second Brother who opposes his decision because he promised to free the soldiers. This portrays Pang as an evil guy who killed senselessly, immoral and inhuman. But is he wrong? Is he wrong if the sacrifice of 4000 people will save millions of others?

Pang decides to kill Second Brother. This act, by its very nature is unlawful and immoral. But what if it results to better lives for millions other? Will it still sound as bad as it is?

To decide on what is the most beneficial of all, is what Cosmoethics is about.

When Second Brother wanted to risk his life by entering beyond enemy's gate alone to end the seige, wasn't he foolish?

When Third Brother killed the dame hoping it would prevent the death of Second Brother, wasn't he foolish too?

This explains why right and wrong does not exist. Because of the fact that what happened, should happens. Reality is the truth and cannot be argued over. Big Brother took away many innocent lives, he should killed them. Second Brother risked his life, he should risked his life. Third Brother kills the dame, he should damn kills the dame! All of them killed one another in the end, they should kill off one another.

Let's put it this way, everyone did what he thinks is the right thing to do. He thinks he is right; she thinks she is right; even if both disagreed and fought till their deaths, they are not wrong! It is only 'right' that one should do what he/she thinks is the right thing to do.

Everyone is right because at their own personal level of Cosmoethics, he/she is doing what he/she thinks is the best thing to do. And because we are ourselves, we arn't him or her, we can never judge something that is not us. When you think he had done wrong, is it really true? Can you absolutely be sure about that? Then what you really mean is, if I am him and did what he did, I judge myself wrong. When you're wrong, it doesn't means he is wrong too. Don't you think it sound selfish if you look at it that way?

A world where everyone is neither right and wrong, is truly beautiful. We just do what we should do, no restrains, no judgments, no fear.

Tribute to Mrs Benazir Bhutto

2007-12-28T21:14:00.000+08:00

Mrs Benazir Bhutto

21 June 1953- 27 December 2007

Chairman of Pakistan People's Party

Ex-Prime Minister of Pakistan 1988-1990 and 1993-1996

"A democrat cannot worry about the consequence of a bombing if she has to fight terror.

If I am to die, I will die." Mrs Benazir Bhutto

This is no obituary, this is a sign of respect to one of the couragest women in the world. She was not any typical politician. Rather, she was a politician that gave her life for the country she loved and cared so much for, amidst all turmoil and atrocity.

She is a martyr of Hope, Goodwill and Love.

A Quiet Christmas

2007-12-25T00:17:00.000+08:00

Silent night, Holy night...
All is calm, All is bright...

This year's eve was different than any others that I remembered. The spirit was somewhat different. Couldn't experience the ideal christmas eve.

Silent Eve
Still, the joy of giving still remains; loving one another.
while the cool breeze and the full moon above lifts our spirit higher, and higher.
And I wishing you, from the bottom of my heart,
merry christmas...

Life Process

2007-12-21T18:11:00.000+08:00

The very first step is to be willing to be aware.

Next is to be willing to change or learn from it.

If you fail, you need extra willingness to try again.

If you succeed, you need to be willing to continue it.

If you master it, you need to be willing to pass on to others.

This is life's formula for whatever you we do. And guess what is common in every step? Yes, Willingness.

Right now, I find myself stuck at the 2nd-3rd step. In terms of various matters like, studies, relationships, personality, and even the issue on perfectionism.

And because of being trapped, constraint or stuck, it forms an inner struggle, and that is the seed of suffering, that vessels out pain to every cell of the body;
it generates the 'heat of sorrow' in your heart that gushes all the way up to your nose and then your eyes,
and out of nowhere you find the first drop of tears flowing out and heat gathering on the tip of the nose, and feeling the dryness in your mouth.
And after a while, you feels the stickiness on the skin and gave a sigh, feeling better, but the seed is still there...

Chipmunk Christmas Song (Hula Hoop)

2007-12-21T18:06:00.000+08:00

Christmas, Christmas time is near
Time for toys and time for cheer
We've been good, but we can't last
Hurry Christmas, hurry fast
Want a plane that loops the loop
Me, I want a hula hoop
We can hardly stand the wait
Please Christmas, don't be late.

Want a plane that loops the loop
I still want a hula hoop
We can hardly stand the wait
Please Christmas, don't be late.
We can hardly stand the wait
Please Christmas, don't be late.

Alvin And The Chipmunks - Hula Hoop - Christmas Song

2007-12-21T17:52:00.001+08:00

No Pork at all

2007-12-20T17:41:00.001+08:00

M1 Advertisement

2007-12-20T17:24:00.001+08:00

One of the funniest ads!

Rhythm of the Rain

2007-12-20T17:17:00.001+08:00

Rhythm of the falling rain

2007-12-20T16:59:00.000+08:00

Rhythm Of The Rain

Listen to the rhythm of the falling rain
Telling me just what a fool I've been
I wish that it would go and let me cry in vain
And let me be alone again

The only girl I care about has gone away
Looking for a brand new start
But little does she know
That when she left that day
Along with her she took my heart

Rain please tell me now does that seem fair
For her to steal my heart away when she don't care
I can't love another when my hearts somewhere far away

The only girl I care about has gone away
Looking for a brand new start
But little does she know that when she left that day
Along with her she took my heart

Rain won't you tell her that I love her so
Please ask the sun to set her heart aglow
Rain in her heart and let the love we knew start to grow

Listen to the rhythm of the falling rain
Telling me just what a fool I've been
I wish that it would go and let me cry in vain
And let me be alone again

Oh, listen to the falling rain
Pitter pater, pitter pater
Oh, oh, oh, listen to the falling rain
Pitter pater, pitter pater...

Hokkien Song - JIPABAN!

2007-12-19T00:23:00.001+08:00

Chill Out

2007-12-16T21:18:00.000+08:00

That was yesturday after watching my friend's drama performance in Orchard. And we 'chilled'(Grrgh...so cold! lolz!) out along the river beside the Esplanade after a meal at Makansutra. And because of that, I swear that I'll never going to eat fried prawn mee, char kway teow and oyster omelette for at least the next 6 months! If I'm not wrong, I've ate them yesturday for the first time since around 8 months ago. I guess I'm 'allergic' to it already and it may goes the same for the rest of the local delights. My body just can't accept them into the system. The above hunks and babes are my new found friends. Knew them through my good friend, Roy(the innocent-looking hunk beside me). And hanging out at the location is very shiok! So nice that we remained there for around 2.5 hours before we left at around 1.30am. Anyway, these friends are great!

Perfect Imperfect

2007-12-16T17:57:00.000+08:00

This is one of the article featured in last sunday's paper, lifestyle section, with the heading: Perfect imperfect.

I find this psychological issue interesting and feels that it concerns me, for I sense the imperfectionist in me which is active playing his role with my ego.

The report says that perfectionists can be divided into three types:

1. Self-oriented strivers who struggle to live up to their high standards and appear to be at risk of self-critical depression.

2. Outwardly focused zealots who expect perfection from others, often ruining relationships.

3. Those desperate to live up to an ideal they're convinced others expect of them, a risk factor for suicidal thinking and eating disorders.

Which type are you? Or rather which type you sense to be stronger in you? For me, I've all three types in me, and the strongest in me is the 1st, then 3rd and least strongly is 2nd.

So what if you've high expectations? Is it wrong? Professor Gordon Flett from York University said, "It's when it generalises to other areas of life like home-life, appearance and hobbies, that you begin to see real problems."

One characteristics of a perfectionist is they've a certain logic which is so called 'All or nothing'. Which is for instance given a task, he'll either do it until he's satisfied which is from a high standard results OR if he can't do it till the got that results, he'll give up(if he'd started the task) or reject the idea at all(if he haven't start the task). A perfectionist finds it hard to accept 'reasonable' or 'well-to-do' results. If they don't get A1, they'll never go back to study ever again.

The link below is a perfectionism test. Feel free to check it out. My score is 82%. Very very high degree of perfectionism.

http://discoveryhealth.queendom.com/perfectionism_abridged_access.html

I shall speak about myself, a perfect example of a perfectionist.

One of my habit related to this issue is, when I watch dvd, I must have the subtitle on and keep rewinding it after every 10-30 seconds of the scene, especially on subtle parts such as small converations or during the transitions where to scene just change to another one. There'll be a voice in me that keep prompting questions and is very hard to be satisfied until I've watched every scene, every second perfectly, vividly. I took double the lengthtime of the movie to watch finish it. Sometimes I couldn't stand myself and shout it out loud 'Stop it!' It works a little but not fully.

The above example is an illustration of a behaviour known as 'Complusive-obsessive behaviour'. Whereby one will keep doing the same thing repeatedly until he feels satisfied and ready to move on. This behaviour, when it's at the extreme, can be very irritating, unproductive and can make one impulsive. If it causes one to exhibit embarassing habits, it'll draws the confidence level all the way down.

It's break time and time for lunch. My classmates are looking at each other, while i'm telling them let's go eat(since they all will want to eat), and by the time I ask finish everyone, 'Where are we going to eat now?' and when I suggested a place to eat, and I still don't get a clear response from anyone or everybody's just still not walking towards any canteen, or when I receive answers that doesn't answer anything such as 'Dunno...' or 'See how lor...' I get very irritated, angry and impulsive. I'll just disappear from the rest and walk away and find other friends for lunch or eat by myself. I'm aware of this issue in me, that of impatience, impulsiveness, and of course, perfectionism. I've tried to improve on it by walking around first instead of asking them, and then when they themselves had finalise on a decision then I joined them.

This example is one of rigidity. Ways in which one seeks for orderliness, just like perfection. It makes me quite anti-social and outcast. This works interchangeably with another issue of acceptance; accepting oneself and others. This is something like type 2. Whereby one expect perfection from others too. And why my relationships are not always successful.

During the first term in chemical engineering, I struggled with mathematics. So I feel very down, and the perfectionist in me begins to work and says, ' since its very difficult for me to do well in this course, might as well call it quits.' And after that, I just lose all interest in studies and subsequently the thought of leaving the course came, and at same time thought that if I change to a course I like, I'll do well in it. During those days, I was depressed and have very low self-esteem because I'm not doing something that I can do well enough so that I can be satisfied with myself.

And that's what 'All-or-nothing' is all about. It leads to pessimism, when one meets with a big problem and judge that in the future it'll still not be solved if it can't be solved now. It leads to immobilization, due to the extreme fear of failure, which cause one to resist the idea of putting in effort in improve the situation. It leads to depression, because of the constant need of 'perfection' yet knowing that I can't do that well to reach for it. It leads to low self-esteem because I always feel like a loser since I can't meet my expectation.

Last time when I bodybuild, I sabotaged myself with this 'All-or-nothing' effect. I gave myself a period of time to attain a certain goals. And when I didn't reach it at the end of the period, I gave up completely and get by to my own eating habits. And the idea of change has becomes an idea of failure. Therefore it cause me to lack motivation to start any plans to change in the future. If I don't see immediate results, I'll get very demoralised and disappointed and I'll stop all the workouts totally and get into the blues all over again.

What is it like, having all three types altogether? Relationships is a good example to begin with. I have an expectation for my friends which is I expect them to agree with me most of the time. But always because of some other reasons, they react diferently from what I expected, and when it is against or not aligned with my expectations, I'll get very upset and got the 'all-or-nothing' mindset taking over. I'll always find out why and direct all possibilites towards me, when most of the case, the main reason is because of the other party themselves.(Because people do things not because of someone but for themselves.)

Changing the scope to let's say, going after the girl I like. It is a combo of type one and two. Before I decide to chase, I'll judge myself upon a set of agreements or criteria. It's like a checklist before you go to camp, for instance. I have only 4 shirt to spare but the camp is five days long and the checklist put 5 shirts. Just because I do not have 5 shirts to fit into the list and fear that on the last day I'll stink and turn off others, so I decided not to attend the camp. It happens that weight is on the check list. So similarly, just because I do not have the ideal physique and fear that I'll be a turn-off, due to the extreme fear of rejection, decided not to go for it. The greatest fear of a perfectionist is failure/rejection. And because of that we hold ourselves back when we want to go ahead. And that causes the tension of opposites, just like how Mr. Morrie had put it. Regarding type 2, 'desperate to live up to an ideal they're convinced others expect of them'. It's really self-inflicted suffering because no one created the judgement list for us but ourselves. This is a point which proves that it is always ourselves who creates the our own suffering and not the outside.

Law of Reflection is really very true, looking at my own experience to learn from. It I can't even accept myself, how can I expect others to accept me? And how can I accept others. From here, you can see that Perfectionism is a 'Traitor advisor of the Emperor'. It led the man think astray such that he'll drift further away from success and happiness, without him knowing that the problems lies within his palace.

I feel that my thought gets straighten up when I share out my problems and issues. Whoever you are, thank you for reading.

Foward Love

2007-12-14T23:58:00.000+08:00

What happens when you like someone who like someone who like someone who like someone and so on?

Will you go foward or find someone else?

But wait, does it make a difference? Does the pattern stops?

Then, isn't both the same?

Gosh, I'm emo-emo again...haha!

Term Tests' Over

2007-12-13T14:25:00.000+08:00

Finally tests are all over!

Yesturday was Applied Mathematics. And the lecturer typically gave us so much hints as if telling us the whole paper. And I respect this lecturer alot, he's my form teacher, though I just don't show it especially during his lectures, if I do attend. ;p

Just now was the test I looked forward to the most- Organic Chemistry. It's quite fascinating to notice that many of my peers hated and afraid of this subject the most. Since the start test week, I've heard many whining that they're so gonna fail OC, and I follow suit and whine with them too. But deep inside, there's this interest in this particular subject more than any others in my course. You can say its by 'default' because it is the subject with very very little mathematics! In fact it's the only subject (except comm skills subject) that I don't have to bring calculator. And I rather write mechanisms than draw out block diagrams for Thermodynamics.

What's unique for my situation this term is that I've never studied so hard since O levels! Perhaps the post-O Level blues had come to an end, if not for sacrificing last semester to it! Last semester, I was completely complacent and underestimated the subjects. I didn't take lectures and tutorials seriously and my results proved it.

Then came the 1 and 1/2 months holiday. During then I was so looking forward to transfer course. Then I became lost and confused when this semester starts. I thought that since I'm quitting, what for I continue to study, attend lectures, labs and tutorials? So I missed 2 weeks of school. During then, I went on to seek for a job. But in the end, I felt bad. I felt that I'm not being responsible and I can't go on that way. This was brought further by my aunt's tears for her worry for me had became overwhelmed. She thought I've changed from a good boy to a rowdy school-leaver. She thought that I needed some help so she brought me to see a counsellor. During then I had just completed reading 'Tuesdays with Morrie' and was beginning to read 'The Five People You Meet In Heaven'. I was also deeply reading 'The Four Agreements'.

All these inspiration ends my confusion and I'd made a decision- Whether I'm going to leave my course or not, it's next year business. But before I leave, I'm going to make my mark and leave with satisfaction; putting on an excellent performance before leaving the stage with pride and
'feel-good'ness, which will make one feel more confident to perform on the next stage. With that, I regreted for missing so many lectures and tutorials that it's quite hard to catch up.

And my class- I've a love-hate feeling for it. It's really like a cycle. I isolated myself from the class because I felt left out, and my classmates thought I'm not interested in them because I don't always mix around with them. My class is splitted in 3 groups. One of it is isolated, and the other two is always interchangeable. I don't see myself in any of the groups, or suitable for any of them. The least enjoyable moments in school is during lab sessions. In fact, I really love labwork, that's why I don't mind joining this course. But I find myself partnered with a character totally opposite of mine!

Side-track abit. I feel that there's a lesson for me to learn here. I'm fated to have this partner because it isn't by randomness but by register number. So one can say we're synchronised to interact this time. This guy is really 'intolerable'! But first I've to admit that I dislike him since the beginning but I've never ill-treated or talk bad about him. I treat him with respect and with equality. Unfortunately, he crossed the line and pushed my patience too much. I decided to say to his face- 'You've a bad attitude!' Just imagine how it feels to be looked down, and by the way, his results isn't fantastic at all! He's still one of the last in class! Sometimes I wonder whether to be angry or amused by him. But the things is, if I were him, I will not look down upon others and treat everyone with respect. The lesson here is, what is the best strategy to deal with someone who isn't favourable to one's character and personality, and offensive? It is- not to change others but yourself; reflect on his actions and learn from it; and to stand up for yourself in times when you're treated unfairly. Anyway, I didn't type this with a purpose to defame him. I still respect him as my classmate and possibly still remain as friends. I typed this just for the amusement of the irony in it.

So back to my class- tutorials are creepy to me. Sometimes I find myself to be lonlier than ever before. Well, I can't blame anyone other than myself for not being part of any of the groups. And well, the bottom line is there's no sense of belonging in me for my class, though I still feel bonded to it, at the minimum. It's still the Class of Good Souls.

During lectures, I'll always feel tempted to find peers from other classes to sit with. Oh well, some things can only be accepted, not change. And that's referring to what one of my classmate that I'm relatively close with said, 'Sometimes you just don't click with some people, but there's instances where you can just become as close as siblings within a few moments.' I've always hated this idea, ever since I've experienced in since secondary school. What if it refers to people whom you're interested in, won't it be hard to accept this idea? Just by blaming it to fate and that there's nothing you can do about it?

There's another important push factor that strives me to work hard this time round. Somehow, someway, I found myself befriending a girl in my course. This girl has kind of 'push the button' or 'awakening the vision', I just doesn't know how to put it in exact word. Basically, I'm inspired by her, just like how Morrie Swartz had inspired me in the book. She has beaten all odds by only her determination, perservarance, hard-work and self-disciplined. I reflected on her upon myself and felt very embarassed. She had shown me a way that's possible and worth heading for. She had gained all the admiration she can get from me. It's quite meaningful of the timing. For if I were to befriend her last semester, when I was in a different conditions and mindset, the feeling and effect she gives me wouldn't be the same as now.

Thermodynamics

2007-12-11T11:32:00.003+08:00

A-Dear-Bear-Dick

Guess what is the correct spelling for this scientific term.

Its...Adiabatic! I'm just teasing about how my lecturer says it, and I just can't get enough of that!

E-Re-Vase-See-Ba :Irreversible.

Lick-cold :Liquid

Eggs-Where :X-Square.

Isn't my lecturer unique! He's a foreigner that's why.

That's one thing, and test is just another.

Wait, here's his favourite line, 'Without 2nd Law, the world won't be what it is today.'

He's refering to the 2nd Law of thermodynamics- Heat flows spontaneously from a hot object to a cold object. He's just saying that if scientists had not discovered the 2nd Law, Man would not have evolved into today's high technology society.

Pearly Shells

2007-12-10T21:22:00.000+08:00

Pearly Shells

Pearly Shells... By the ocean.

Shining in the sun... Covering the shores.

When I see you...

My heart tells me, I Love You.

More than those... little Pearly Shells.

Test

2007-12-10T10:34:00.001+08:00

I'm feeling Disappointed+Angry+Sad+Embarassed+ Give myself a punch+Amused.

To sum it up- F*cked Up!

And that's because I've just completed my PIPC II(Principles of Inorganic and Physical Chemistry) term test 20 minutes ago. A test that is 40marks and a question that requires drawing a graph that is worth 37.5% of the whole paper(15 marks).

And that graph is on the the topic of Chemical Kinetics. I've practically studied and memorised all the damn equations- Rate Law, First Order, Second Order, Arrhenius Equation. It so happens that the easiest came out- Rate Law.

Sidetrack abit, during last week's lecture, my lecturer gave everyone a chart. Apparently, he screwed up and typed the whole paper wrongly. At first, he changed the variable one by one, equation by equation. And I follow suit on my piece of paper. At first he didn't told us the whole paper is wrong! So I edited on all equations EXCEPT THE RATE LAW!!!

The bottom line is, I memorised the WRONG THING!!! I screwed up my x-axis and y-axis on a graph that's worth 15marks!!! It's all my fault for not listening fully during the lecture, as well as verifying it. And I wonder how serious an effect can be just by a small cause!!!

I'm feeling so fucked up that I distant myself from my friends and rush my way out of the exam room.

I dare say I'm 98% prepared for the test, and the other 2% is not that I didn't prepare for it but I memorised the wrong facts! And this 2% is worth 15marks! I just feeling like giving myself a jab on the face!

One of my biggest weakness is that whenever I put in alot of effort and target high expectation, and I don't get the result, I gives up and is 'resisted' to the idea again. In the case of academic, I studied very hard and aim for A, and when I don't get the result, I feel very upset and then, I am 'resisted' to studying hard ever again. This issue arises since very young, and I supposed it does not derived from academic issues but in other issues such as relationships. For instance, when a child behaves intimately with his mother and suddenly she scolds him, and from then on, the child finds it very hard for himself to be intimate again.

Why is it so? Now we're talking psychology! We have two factors to consider, (New Brain/Old Brain) and (Subconscious/Conscious).

The New Brain is basically a part of our brain called the Cerebral Cortex. It is this part that make up superior than animals. It is the root of intelligence, and where the sixth sense lies- Logic. It's purpose is to rationalize and interpret whatever that's outside from what it perceives from the other five senses. It's called the New Brain as it first formed millions of years after mammals had since existed.

The Old Brain is a combination of the the stem cell and limbic system. It is found in all reptiles and mammals and is sometimes known as the 'Reptilian Brain'. It's main purposes is Self-preservation and Reproduction. Of course there's more to it, but I shall not elaborate further.
In this context, we shall define the purpose of the Old Brain as 'reaching out for the maximum comfort possible.'

So, when an action was done and the response is very bad. The New Brain will begin its function and interpret it. But it can interpret that it's bad because the Old Brain tells it so by instinct. Because the response upset the comfortness of the body and the Old Brain needs to do its job by preventing it from happening again. So after the New Brain has interpreted, it sends the message to the Old Brain so that whenever similar situation happens again, it will send signals to the body to resist the situation. So when one trys to carry a hamster for the first time, and was bitten by it, it is highly possible that that person is 'allergic' to carrying a hamster for then on.

I'm running out of time because I still have to study for my next test.

So to cut things short, the subconscious, having a collective and multi-dimensional nature, will register the incident, the cause, effect, interpretation. It is collective to the extend of past-lives as well. Hence, it is an issue of old habit patterns. Whereby a particular issue manifests itself into the life continuity until its solved so that the lesson can be learnt or the karma is balanced. The problem lies in itself- unconscious. If you're so aware of an issue, it wouldn't be under unconscious at all! So the first step is awareness. And this is what spirituality is all about- Know Thyself.

I'll try my best to break this vicious cycle.

RCY Challenge 2007

2007-12-08T23:01:00.000+08:00

This camp is full of 'first-time' for me.

This was my first time:
1. in a camp as a VI
2. Interacting with cadets other than those back in Broadrick
3.Camping in Changi Coast MOE Campsite
4. I saw many seniors that I never see before
5. Abseiling
6. 'Suicide jump at 2.5 storeys high (high elements)
7. Mountain-biking (Pulau Ubin)
8. Archery
9. I saw some fellow instructors since 2 years ago who were my ULP-mates and NDP-mates
10. I enjoyed camp so much! (irregardless any past camps I attended)

RCY Challenge 2007 was my second camp (1st was linkamania) in RCY as a non-cadet(nor link!), but my first camp as an instructor. It was also my first time interacting with cadets, other than my own unit back in Broadrick. And that was the biggest Challenge for me.

I really learn alot in this camp and experienced many activities that I'd never done before.

I'm deeply inspired by the organisers by their capability to make such a massive camp a wonderful success; as well as the cadets for being co-operative and respectful.

I paid $15 and it's definitely worth every single cents because, it makes me,
1. enthu to organise my own unit camp
2. put in more effort in my unit
3. want to take part in more HQ events
4. see the fun side of a VI
5. and the reasons from the previous list!

I regret for missing the chance to rock-climb!

Bravo's Campfire Performance for RCY Challenge 2007

2007-12-08T22:57:00.001+08:00

Bravo rocks!

Finest Moments of RCY Challenge 2007

2007-12-08T21:13:00.000+08:00

These photos are the best there is in my camera, in terms of quality and standard. I love these photos alot! So are not even taken by me. They captures the atmosphere and are indeed the shots of the finest moments of the camp.

General Station

Dragonboat

First aid/Evacuation Games and Role-play

Archery

Bus trip

Heading towards Pulau Ubin

Street Soccer

Mountain-Biking

Rock-climbing

Abseiling

Challenge Rope Course (High Elements)

RCY Challenge 2007 (Group and individual shots)

2007-12-08T19:29:00.000+08:00

VIP 0807! (short of 4)

To lead with Pride!

BrAv0 BrAv0 FaMiLy!!!

First night of Camp!

What's UP!

Bravo Mentors! (-2)

Bravo Division C6!

See how my cadets enjoy the camp! Me too!

Bravo Mentors! (-3) Arh! no full photo!

Li Xuan Ma'am! Smiling by the sun!

Esther, Yo! Ready to abseil!

Farhan! Tanned Farhan!

Jun Jie! That's a very cheesy cheese! LOL!

Qing Xiang Sir! Emo-ing over enlistment...

Chemistry I

2007-12-07T13:27:00.000+08:00

I have a love-hate relationship with chemistry. Its complexity and synchronicity is a beauty, but then I can't help but keep forgetting what I've learn. I realise that my storage capacity duration of certain topics can be as low as 1 day!

What I love about chemistry is the satisfaction it gives when I understands it. Its something which makes sense at a higher level. Which means one has to combines several concepts in order to gain a satisfied conclusion. And when one reaches a right conclusion, it assures that one can think at a higher level, and of course, that'll provide lots of satisfaction and confidence. Chemistry provides self-enlightenment.

What I don't like about chemistry is that sometimes it is just too contradictory and there's just too many exceptions and 'special cases'. Chemistry questions are multi-tasking. It test not only on one concept but many. Let's say one particular question has 10 steps. It is likely that you may need 10 different concepts to tackle that questions. Unfortunately, life of a chemistry practitioner is much harder; other than the 10 'ordinary' concepts, one must also consider exceptions and 'special cases'.

Chemistry is spiritual. It provides many life lessons. All of us can relate and reflect alot of our experiences and phenomena with molecular science. It's a science with many themes. It's something like the book 'Tuesdays with Morrie', whereby every tuesday of the week, the professor will teach one theme in life to his ex-student. So, why not 'Tuesdays with Chemistry'!
Guess what, my 'Principle of Inorganic and Physical Chemistry' and 'Organic Chemistry' lectures are on tuesdays! It's really Tuesdays with Chemistry!

There's so much to type about Chemistry! Well, this is just part I! It shall be continue after my term test!

RCY Challenge Photo

2007-12-01T05:33:00.000+08:00

here's esther gettin' ready to abseil!
tanned farhan~

Bravo @ Changi Jetty

smiley smiley with Li Xuan Ma'am
Cheesy JJ!

And the bez division goes to....BRAVO!
To lead wth pride!
Bravo Mentors (positive charge)
Bravo Mentors (Full)!
There's a bird!!!

CCN Day

2007-12-01T04:43:00.000+08:00

This is CCN Day two weeks ago! (yes, I update very late!)

Basically each class gotta set up a booth and sell stuffs. And my class sell popcorn, kacang putih, keropok and packet drinks. Until I renamed them respectively to- 'Special Popcorn', 'Kacang Wonders' and 'The Secret'. For packet drink I can't named them! As lame as it may sounds, it works! Well, when I saw that the packaging of the tibits were kinda very secretive and mysterious. And that's where the names comes in to suit its appearances!

Good Job A7D6!!!

Lies

2007-11-11T01:26:00.000+08:00

This is what I discovered today.

"Excuse is a lie we tell others.
Rationalization is a lie we tell ourselves."
Logic is a double-edged sword.
It's always towards being in comfort- that's the function of the brain.
We reasons whatever there is- to our comfort.
It is done sometimes without any of our AWARENESS!!!
This is just one example of Self-Sabotage.
Lie to oneself...
without knowing still...

My beloved ChE Class TD06

2007-11-09T19:05:00.000+08:00

MV Ren Yi Men 任意門 - Rainie Yang 楊丞琳 ^o^*

2007-11-03T16:27:00.001+08:00

A damn cute song! Sounds a bit baby-ish... but is good! =)

Tuesdays with Morrie (Audiovisual)

2007-11-01T16:43:00.000+08:00

The latest book I'm reading- Tuesdays with Morrie.

Here's the 'Audiovisual' (as mentioned in the book) after his death ten years ago.

Reflections on Toltec Wisdom I

2007-11-01T16:23:00.000+08:00

"Who says society has justice? True justice is only paying once for each mistake. True injustice is paying more than once for each mistake." - Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements

How many times must we pay for our mistakes until we say 'Enough!' Just how many times more until we realise that we don't want to suffer anymore!

Humans are the only living thing on Earth who likes to punish themselves over and over again for the same mistake. Other animals don't. Now, that is one shortcomings of intelligence.

We have a powerful memory. We make a mistake, we judge ourselves, we plead guilty, and we punish ourselves, and we remember the whole process from the top so that we can repeat it. What's more, friends and family will remind you of the same mistake and the entire suffering goes on.

Hey You Madonna Live Earth 7-7-7

2007-11-01T16:22:00.000+08:00

Hey You Madonna Live Earth 7-7-7 (Lyrics)

2007-10-27T19:36:00.001+08:00

Hey You Lyrics

Rainie Yang Cheng Lin

2007-10-27T18:52:00.000+08:00

Although she's being popular for such a long time, but this is the first song of hers that I listened to and love very much!

Que Yang - Rainie Yang with English pinyin and translation

2007-10-27T18:05:00.001+08:00

The Secret that Cannot be Told

2007-10-21T20:14:00.000+08:00

Kwai Lun-Mei

Tseng Kai-Xuan

Who's prettier?

I just caught this movie and keep wondering that question. Jay is one lucky son-of-the-gun. I guess I still like the one on the left more. Although this is one of those films whereby you can quite easily know what's the ending, you'll still pull up your socks and watch it enthusiastically and watch the plot unfolds. Why? Because the plot is not that easy to grasp, as the incidents does not flow on a normal timeline.(I gotta re-watched some scenes before I know what's going on!)

But the selling point is not on the cheesy and romantic tag lines and scenes, rather it is the piano which brights up the whole picture. The pieces are tremendously beautiful. Especially 'The Secret' itself and the one played during the graduation ceremony scene. Uplifting and soothing. It does motivates me to hit onto the piano once more.

3.5 stars!

"Follow the notes upon the journey,

At first sight marks one's destiny.

Once the voyage comes to an end,

Return lies the hasty key."

- As found in the "The Secret" manuscript

Asset-based thinking

2007-10-14T18:08:00.000+08:00

Most of us are gifted with a pair of eyes, a pair of ears, mouth, nose and ability to feel. We only need this physical feature to sense what's outside. But as we grow older, we begin to think and judge. We create thoughts and make judgments on whatever we see, feel, hear, smell and taste. All these thoughts and judgments seems to be inside of us and not outside. But really, they are just a mirror for each other; and this is one aspect of the Law of Reflection. When we're happy, everything seems to be going on smoothly; and why we're down with our mood, it seems like we'd reached hell early.

So common sense tells us that our reality varies with our thinking, and we can enhance our lives just by thinking 'correctly'. Ladies and gentlemen, humanity seems to have two types of thinkers- Asset-based thinkers and Deficit-based thinkers; one who sees a glass half-filled and the latter sees it as half-empty.

Here's a website that's worth visiting - http://www.assetbasedthinking.com/ Basically its a book called- 'Change the way you see everything'. Borrow it from the library if you want to see the world with an ideal vision.

The good news is, as the book says it, our thinking is a matter of choice, it is not our personality trait. That means we can choose to switch camp at anytime. But the bad news is, life isn't easy at all (oops! this's deficit-based thinking!) See what I mean? It's very easy to go back to DBT, so it takes alot of effort to be an ABT-er. Find out more from the book. ;p "When you change the way you see things, the things you see change." - Anonymous

The Four Agreements

2007-10-08T00:33:00.000+08:00

I'm currently reading a few books and one of it is this- The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz.

Here is an exerpt found in the author's website: http://www.miguelruiz.com/

The Four Agreements:

1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don't Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don't Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

Everything we do is based on agreements we have made - agreements with ourselves, with other people, with God, with life. But the most important agreements are the ones we make with ourselves. In these agreements we tell ourselves who we are, how to behave, what is possible, what is impossible. One single agreement is not such a problem, but we have many agreements that come from fear, deplete our energy, and diminish our self-worth."

-Don Miguel Ruiz

Hilarion Reading

2007-10-05T00:23:00.000+08:00

aSo it dated back a few months ago, in the midst of my semester, there i was in a state of confusion, lost and despair; and that last for quite some time. During one of those day, I saved enough money and decided to do a remote channeling; wanting to get advice from an evolved being who views at a divine perspective.

He is known as, Master Hilarion, Chohan of the Fifth Ray. He embodies the qualities of healing and wholeness, music and science, and one-pointed vision (the action of the third-eye); whose previous incarnations on this planet are as Apostle Paul and Saint Hilarion. Channeled by Mr. Jon C Fox, an electronics engineer living in the United States; for those interested, please visit http://hilarion.com/
To be able to have such an experience, I would like to share my actual, unedited personal reading with the world; and also to able to spread the words of such divine practice. One that brings clarity and wisdom into one's perspective. It's pretty long, as it's a recorded channeling in total of 57.02 minutes. Enjoy.

Hilarion: Yes, greetings, yes. This is the energy, being or vibration you called Hilarion. A moment please while we make deeper contact. Yes, greetings Jill, yes. We ask you to welcome the idea, of an emerald light cylinder, anyone who will be hearing this or even thinking about; some of the words we are just speak. Imagine this cylinder, is about 10m in diameter, as it moves from internally upwards to you to centre of Earth, for purposes of protection and connection. Very good, please begin.

Jill: We are gathered here in Nevada City, California; on September 23, 2007, to do a remote reading for Ong Wei Ren, in Singapore. His name at birth was Ong Wei Ren. He was born October 22, 1990 at ****pm in Singapore.

Hilarion: Yes, we have the contact. Yes, please continue.

Jill: Ok. I’m going to read this as though, it’s Ong speaking.
I feel I have severe problems in sustaining, continuing and deepening relationships of all kinds with others (e.g. family, affairs-of-the-heart, platonic friends, etc), and feel deeply unsatisfied with myself and in my inability to work with relationships. Many of my current relationships/friendships feel superficial and unsatisfying to me. Can Hilarion please comment and advice on this?

Hilarion: Relationships are always based upon one’s relationship with oneself. Initially, this is to set the ground work for one’s relationship with God. Because the separation aspect is essentially illusion, the idea of creating that separation in your consciousness, is to learn, to grow, to give the opportunity to work with others, as a reminder of yourself. This is one aspect of the law of reflection, which simply stated is: as above so below, as within so without.

There are those who focus on these extensively, helping individual as they work through various problems to understand and unravel the nature of each reflection. One such individual is Byron Katie. To use her method, to learn it, read her books may be helpful but contacting others and there are many all over the world using her methods, especially in a group, until you have them deeply built into your own character, would be very helpful.

The idea on this is simply, that you then began to glimpse, that in every relationship that has some difficulty, one aspect in yourself, needs to be changed. You will notice, in relationships or individuals that have been together for many years. Typically the minimum number on this observation is three years, though frequently one goes into seven years or longer before this fact becomes well known. And that is the way in which they tend to sandpaper each other, bringing their own issues into consciousness, helping them to understand, to way that they eventually can evolve.

Your own evolutionary duo awaits you. There are many beings that you corresponded with, have different aspect of relationship with, before you came into this world. And in this last intermissive, you had opportunity to contact several of them as potential evolutionary duos. Notice we do not say mate. We are not talking about parenting here or chemistry, or any of the other personal love terms. This has to do with your personal evolution.

In your more recent past life, you had been through some very turbulent, difficult time. In everyone of these, though there was much karma accumulated, though there was much difficulty, you came through it with sufficient understanding to recognise that, in each subsequently lifetime, if you gave yourself enough information, enough opportunity, enough possibility, you could make the changes necessary within your soul. Not only for a happy life, but for the one which met the levels of satisfaction and acceptance that you held as your own personal… you can say bar. Your own personal set of standards. But in each success of lifetime, because you were unable to come up to that standard, you set the bar a bit higher. So in this life, you will find this across almost everything you do.

That in certain areas of spiritual understandings, of awakening of consciousness, reminders, it would be easier perhaps than the other areas, for instance, happening onto our energy at such an early age. Working with this individual (name censored), his mentor, (name censored), others you will meet in your life. This is not by accident. You set this up ahead of time, as to give yourself as many hints and possibilities as possible.

The reason for this is, that in each of these success of lifetime where that were difficulties, you saw that the greatest progress that you had made, was when you have others reminding you, giving you help. You had to always learn to own the help. This is not the realm of the apprentice. Not the energy where you do as they do. But one where you make it your own, in relationship, this also then holds. That you learn these aspects you study, you understand the nature of relationships. There are many useful, interesting tools, to understand, but you make them your own. You choose them, you hold them.

Of course, at this age, rebelliousness can be difficult. When someone else lays out particularly for you; how something could be; or what should happen; or in the worse situation, what they demand you do. Many aspects of resistance may show up for you. This can be helpful if you understand the law of reflection; that these energies are there to help you learn, and grow within yourself. These are not to say, you are to do the opposite of what is shown to you, or do the same of what they shown to you. But to set aside such an aspect of what naturally comes from rebelliousness and instead, simply evaluate it entirely on its own. This will become less and less of a problem, as you grow older, and as each of these aspects that you truly deeply own, that you have allowed as resonance in yourself, will be very helpful.

There are languages of love. Ways in which people express their ability to love. This is an excellent area for you to study; how do people express this; how to they work with such energy, and in fact, a book by the same title is useful and would certainly be recommended. Also would be the works of Havel Hendricks; particularly his book, ‘Getting the love you want’. This is very powerful in showing you the way in which the reflected aspect in relationship shows up through the archetype of your parents and the parents of the person you are in relationship with. This often shows up unconsciously, but make itself manifests into a relationship eventually. This is done sooner in a relationship (i.e. the first date), for instance.

This can go a long way towards improving your understanding and acceptance, not success in relationship in the sense that, the relationship continues. That is important, and certainly that will occur and that is not the purpose of relationship. Rather, that you evolve, that you grow, and that you learn from the experience. In other words, the aspect of the law of reflection is known to you, by your own personal ownership, you are accepting and recognising it.
The Universal laws are those which are coming into play here, and work with all beings in all contacts. Resist them or rebel against them all you want, and still they hold, still those energies manifests, still they work with you. So it makes sense then to learn them, to understand them, to break them down, to study them, in particular, when it comes to relationship, the law of reflection. Now this is but the beginning point.

You have many talents and capabilities that you have not put into action for many lifetimes. You will have many of these becoming ‘online’, becoming available to you as you get older. Bit by bit, year by year, a little more a little more, but in direct relationship to this, will be how much of this you bring into action in the world. In the way which you feel good about it, in which you feel morally, ethically, appropriate to you. That is the judgement that others make: This is the right way to be; this is legal; this is lawful; this is a loving or helpful ethical way they would say. You know better.

Deep in your heart, you have a high cosmoethical standard. To be able to bring this forth, and your actions, what you say, how you feel, what you do in the world, reflect that standard, understand it and work with it, will be tremendously helpful at bringing each of these talents and capabilities into your consciousness, into your life and into ways in which you could use them and learn from them. Does this answer the question?

Jill: Yes, thank you.
Can Hilarion please describe and advise on the main objectives, issues or lessons to be learnt for this lifetime as planned for in my existential program?

Hilarion: There are some limits to this, because we cannot a breach your karma and part of your journey of discovery, will be awakening and learning about some of these things. But as we have mentioned, the aspects karmically that cross you that make it hard to make progress forward, are ways in which, self-judgement; stopping yourself; self-sabotage, and other aspects have shown up for you and will continue to show up. Part of this is, in way and which, you will be balancing past karma. Ways in which you have usually accidentally, usually without intent or deliberation, harm others or created energies that you judged were energies that were going to slow down someone’s spiritual progress or things you felt guilty about, or things you know you shouldn’t have done or whatever. Other people looking at this might not say the same thing. They might have said in fact, you did the best you could, or that the actions had a great deal of love behind them, if they were impulsive. Still, they were not that whichever you deliberately set out to harm. Still though, in way and which this was accumulated in your soul; you decided that into coming to this life, you would map out two simultaneous parallel courses of action, in order to clear this from your own consciousness.

One of these was to build on your strength; the energy of truth-seeking; of spirituality, of the awakening of aspects of consciousness; in drawing your own energy to the realms of working with helpers, guides, higher vibrational beings, unseen, as well as a simple and easy attraction to individuals who can teach, who can help you, who can show you, who had a deeper understanding. There will of course, be a small, quiet voice inside, when such individuals, do not have the highest degree of integrity, as if somewhere inside, you will know that, and will be then urged, to turn away from them, that you find your own higher spiritual wisdom where possible.
This path is the higher path; the more useful path and ultimately the faster path in increasing your evolution and balancing karma. The reason for this is that, inevitably, many spiritual lessons come forth; through different voices, different languages, different takes; you can say reality, but those same energy are showing up now all over the world.

One of these is the idea that, through love, through forgiveness, through the deeper understanding, through the whole aspects of instantaneous or superconductive as oppose to resistive or slower processes, you can allow perfect, complete karmic healing. This is a difficult path to understand, logically. It is one, however, that is communicated with love. With the sense of presence, with the sense of beingness; and so of course, that is the first way in which you would continue to awaken spiritually; that you bring in that sense on a regular basis.

We suggest the simple meditation of Eckhart Tolle, in his book ‘The Power of Now’, that are described, but more important, to listen to his voice. You had opportunity to learn from this individual, on the other side, and he may be of some assistance in talking and sharing energy, not so much even the words, but the sort of vibratory energy that is felt around him, or by his words; as if they are resonating something in you much deeper than the words themselves.
The other path that will begin to show up for you more and more; as an individual, you’d difficulty with crosses your paths. As working with somebody else in any capacity in the world, they demand something of you or some issues shows up, or something must be balanced between you, or some aspects in which you sacrificed; you do something that is harmful to you, you do things in some way lower your energy or make you work harder or whatever, and somehow this helps the other person.

This is the more traditional pattern of karmic balancing. The most difficult of this of course, which many people come to is in relationships. Will this sort of relationship where marriage and eventual divorce results. Your guides, helpers, the energy of many spiritual levels and many other aspects do everything they can to prevent this; remind you in every way possible, that you do not have to go down such a path.

Still though, you must recognise that when there is that sense of chemistry, a deep love, a great attraction; though this may be useful and may be valuable but will often be karma. You are not in love, you are in karma; are important words to remember when they shows up.

In the meantime, recognise that every chance there is, for balancing karma; you use the Law of Reflection, you learn what is needed in that situation, you utilise Byron Katie’s technique if that can be applied in any ways. And, more importantly you ask; your own Higher Self, in your meditations, in your place of emptiness and presence using the Eckhart Tolle’s method; whatever technique get you to that place, you ask, not just about the lesson or the understanding; but you look more consciously and deeply at the karma; how might this karma be instantaneously balance; how am I to find a deep sense of love.

When you find that love for the other person; a sense of forgiveness perhaps and awareness of various energy, you’ll also find it for yourself, and that is more important. That there is this sense that you’re forgiven, that you’re well-loved, that it is somehow acceptable, or whatever it is that has occurred. As you work with this sort of energy which you’ll begin to recognise more and more, is that it tend to fall into a pattern.

Eventually, as part of the relationship, in way and which, there is no karmic debt engendered, and no karmic debt paid; you are given an opportunity to serve. It is not serving out of sacrifice; it might be for instance the sharing of your insight, your wisdom, and your love; some way in which some deeper intuition shows up; some way in which you can share with somebody else something personal about your life. You don’t think it’ll be helpful to them, because it’s a personal reflection on your own life, but still though, that personal reflection as it had meaning, might be valuable.

Now of course along the way as you open to various levels of spirituality; in various ways to blend these two paths; you’ll find that over and over, there are little hints.
To awaken those hints, to understand what the guides are bringing to you; to see this will require two important facets. Number 1: The raising of energy. Number 2: Greater sensitivity. Thus, the sensitivity is increase, by regular meditation. By times of opening and receiving; by deliberately asking that energies may be given to you, and the aspect of higher vibrational attunement, comes through regular utilisation of vibration raising exercises. Vibrational state exercise, as described by Dr. Waldo Vieira; or the Astral Dynamics technique as described in the book by the same name. This is the NEW energy system, as described by Robert Bruce.
The intent is simply in raising vibration, what you do is regularly attune to the highest level, by which the sensitivity is activated. The point is, not to make you better, not for ego, not even to balance karma. It is in way and which you simply come to know yourself and you would come to accept love and receive yourself. It is this more than anything else that you came into this life, to work out, to understand.

There will often be times when you must step back and not take things very seriously. This will sometimes be too easy for you. So there will often to times when you must decide. Even then it’ll be more fun now, to do something pleasurable, to pull back perhaps, rather than to find a way to immerse yourself, to go a little deeper, to be a little more scholarly, and to learn a little more about it.

This will ultimately pay tremendous dividends because it shows you about your will. When you focus your will, when you learn of it, when you accept it, as that which can be valuable and helpful, you will as if said you’re a deserving, loving soul. It is this energy that when it is known at the deepest level, can be very helpful, not only in your own development, but for that of many others. Is this sufficient?

Jill: I feel that I suffer from a variety of emotional, psychological, psychospiritual disorders and dyfunctions, and their associated intrusions, that I feel is severely compromising the quality of my life in many ways, not least of all my self-confidence and personal clarity. Can Hilarion please comment, explain and advise on these difficulties?

Hilarion: Yes, it is an interesting matter because it is in line with some of the other areas we have been discussing today. The solution to this is not inquired what you think, however. Yes, of course it is valuable to learn by various self-help means, and to forgive those who surrounded you in childhood.

To utilise the energies in emotions themselves; the most important thought-form associated with emotions of all types; ‘thank god here it goes, as oppose to ‘oh no, not again’.
It may be possible, to locate the now out-of-print by Fox Kaiser. That is Heidi Fox and Fred Kyser’s ‘Making it safe to love’, with details of these principle extensively, and this will be helping in learning, but, as you work out and learn these various issues, what you’ll confront over and over, is the idea of lovability. That love can be present, it can be found, it can be known. And the more this is allowed for you, the more you welcome it, the more you understand it, the more you work with others.

It is as if aspects within you that had been walled off and unwilling to be loved and unwilling to love, is often received, and are healed by this energy. At the same time as all of this occurs, there is a continual activity that you’re already set into motion by guides and helpers and occasionally also intruders.

Raising energy on a regular basis as previously suggested, will eventually completely handle the entire intrusion issue. As long this is done on a regular basis, as long as you own it, not that you do it because you’re trying to protect yourself, or you do it because Hilarion said it; you do it because- anything. If there has to be a ‘because’, does it because it’s fun, do it because it is something you can add to, by making up your own methods of raising vibration and attuning to higher levels of energy. If nothing else does it because of the intruders themselves; in finding their own energy raise, will heal, will move on, will recognise various energies and so on and so forth. This give a little hint as to other things we’re going to say.

But the beginning point on this is a very clear and simple recommendation. It’s a rare recommendation from our point of view, because the karma associated with this is significant. It is about the activity in which energy is regularly donated for the purposes of higher healing, spiritual evolution, or awareness in others. Dr. Vieira had spoken about this, but others had understood different principles of donating energy.

Learning about the principle, working with it and so on might be helpful, but still, the choice, the decision, the ultimate karma must lie with you. In the way and which, various energies can be donated; what will be notice is, that every time a positive, helping, loving energy is made available; those who come to work with it, those who came to depend on it up till that point, will do everything in their power to help you, not only to guide you, to love you, to show you various energies, but also to remind you of other pathways, other ways of coming to deeper love, deeper understanding, deeper self-acceptance.

The practice is known as PENTA, for Personal Energetic Task, and it is not one that can be whole-heartedly recommended because of the karmic implications. It is however, something we would strongly recommend you learn about as much as possible; to consider the implications, to consider what happens in your life.

For instance, if one hour of your life is devoted to such a practice, the other twenty-three will be ones and which, you’ll have this team, the beings who might otherwise simply be watching from a distance, actively involved in assisting, in moving your life along, in bringing you into areas that you’d previously ignored, showing you opportunities, deeper love and assisting with various other aspects.

Eventually we will see this leading to other areas that we’ll speak on and answer to your other questions; but, in recognising this as a long term healing possibility, we’d strongly suggest that you learn about it as much as possible, before committing yourself to such a process, because it does involve, continuous, repeated daily action you’d not come to it likely. But, you’ll find that, as you work with it, gradually, over a period of years, everything in your life begin to sort itself out. Many energies that would otherwise misaligned, begin to show up and make sense.

The other aspects along this that must be taken into account, is the idea of your society. How many aspects about teaching you holding emotions, saving face, doing things in a certain way, and so on and so forth, are often not based on the Cosmoethic, but on much lower level ideals. Many of the conflicts come simply because you know this. As some level, u must ask for yourself, what is the highest Cosmoethic here, as oppose to doing it the way society might want to do it. And working through those sort of questions for you, you’d eventually come to certain answers that make much more sense. Cosmoethically speaking, what do you take with you, is a far more important questions, all in ways and which you can see things as evolutionary in nature, helpful on many levels, what you might call Clarification. These aspects will ultimately be more important to you than anything of a consolation nature, entertainment, amusement or even just feeling better.

This takes time, because you have so much in your society that tells you the value of consolation. But, many times when you root out and come to understand the underlying conflict, you then begin to recognise why the emotional difficulty; why it is hard to become close to others; why self-trust and self-love are so difficult. Does this help?

Jill: Yes, and a continuation of that question.

Hilarion: Yes!

Jill: I feel compelled to further my spiritual growth as far as achievable in this lifetime, but am not sure how to go about it. Furthermore, I would like to dedicate myself to assistantiality, deeper service to others, but I require guidance on this. Can Hilarion and my guides & helpers please instruct and advise me on this, including for the long term.

Hilarion: It is a tricky matter because sometimes the matter of assistance is not well understood. That the law of reflection is always in play; and that as you’re assisting, so also are you assisting yourself.

Still, one can look easily in what you studied in the last intermissive. How you learn about communication with people; how you recognise that some of your own character flaws the areas you struggled with; your own doubts and difficulties might be healed by studying and learning about healing and helping others. For this you have opportunity for brief periods, to study with some of the greatest psychologists, teachers, healers and hypnotists; in some cases, out of body; in certain cases, while they were in their own intermissive; in some cases while they were in bodies yet projecting their consciousness and in other cases where you out-of-body observing them in action.

As a result of these, you have some of the under-lying foundations, in order to understand and work with these. Whether you’ll put it into action or not, will depend on many factors. You must not recognise that each person you’ll work with in a psychological context for instance is the individual, as much as they’re bringing to you, a lesson; their own aspect of your own issue; their way of approaching and working with you. Chosen by guides and helpers; filtered through the aspects of reality, this way of working with individuals as if each one is a personal teacher for you, is one that you were working with on the other side, shortly before you came into this reality.

In some interesting conversations you’d with the individual, who is known in this life as Norton Ericsson. You have opportunity to learn about the unconscious in other people. You recognise that some aspects of these might be useful for you to work with on yourself, but also that your ability to have insight and have understanding into people’s lives, will not only help them, but reflect on your own.

In this way you’ll be encouraged to go further, not only to study aspects of psychology, to learn of it and see how it might be useful to others. Or, to even go deeper as to psychiatry and medicine, or ways and which these aspects of the mind might be understood. But to recognise that because of the spiritual aspect, consciential therapy, the attunement of the guides and helpers, to the subtle dimensions; while you’re in conversations, while you’re interacting with someone else, while you’re learning, and while they’re growing and being healed; is a very important aspect that is often ignored in the world.

In fact, what is unique about your situation is that you could be one of the few in your geographical area with such understanding and awareness. This not only put you in a unique position so far as success, being able to help people long term of course, depends upon engaging their guides and helpers and reducing intrusion in their lives. But it also is an opportunity for you to improve and gain deeper knowledge about yourself; about your own evolution; about your capacity to raise vibration and to learn from your guides and helpers.

This does not mean that any path is going to be that much easier than any other path. Whatever aspect of study, whatever area in the world you look into, whatever way in which you heal yourself in order to provide assistance to others; you will inevitably confront powerful, deep, important obstacles.

This actually has nothing to do with the outside; it always seems like it does, but really it’s about what happens to you inside. The emotions that show up; to move them, to release them, to yell them, to pounce pillows with them, or make sounds with them or let them go; thank god there it goes, evolving then into the way and which the beautiful, loving energy can eventually be felt.
But, whatever resistance will always show up in terms of various aspects you might study. Be it mathematics, psychology, medicine, healing, or language, or attributes that might draw you into any aspect in the world, because it’ll be saying to you at a deep level; that you deserve. Your actions will be seen as helpful, you’ll be useful to others, you’ll be rewarded for this, in other words at every level, you deserve.

In order to know this, to feel it, to activate it, there must be a sense within you that relaxes into it, that allows it, that welcomes it. You cannot that by affirming it; by making it so. It can, however, by relaxing into it, by welcoming it, by breathing it.

This is why the place we began; a place of presence, a meditation that welcomes, and works with that energy of presence is so valuable and important. Still though, as you confront each obstacle, in any area of study, in any way and which you would seek to help others, in any way and which that growth, understanding and sticktuiness that you can activate within your being can come true; the obstacle that you can encounter, the issues and so on.

These will of course, show up at a personal level. At way and which you recognise the foolishness of what is presented in the world to be studied; and the hoops you must jump through and how difficult it is to get a degree in such, or to be acknowledged by others in such. But, one must always set one’s sights on the larger goal, and at the same time welcome the help, energy, assistance, the guidance from the other beings. Here again, as PENTA is utilised, so do they choose in every way possible, to guide, assist, bring more energy and work with you wherever possible.

Of course at the physical level, any such activity is tough on the brain; on anything to do with the nervous system. But we suggest that, by putting your attention on these matters, and always finding ways and which what you have learn can be applied to yourself. You may make spiritual progress and help others along the way. Does this help at all?

Jill: Yes, thank you. Are there specific raw foods that Hilarion can recommend for my physical body and its difficulties? Furthermore, can Hilarion specify dietary requirements to reduce my current weight, as I am classified as overweight by health standards. As such, please advise me, too, on how to attain ideal fitness and physique.

Hilarion: The best way forward with regards to the balancing of weight is in dietary procedures sometimes called ‘Yo-yo dieting’; or in the Vonderplanitz method, ‘Weight gain weight loss’. Here one deliberately building up and breaking down, for the purposes of detoxification.

You would find great pleasure in food; ways and which tastes, so simple; I’m telling you, you’re alive! Bring the sense of love, or helpful, powerful energy where the taste reflects aspects, for instance sweetness- the sweetness of life. The whole point is that you learn and let go. After all, you could say this are in the sense, the ways of a child.

The other aspect that will be continually helpful, partly with cleansing but also with the whole idea of bringing weight into balance, is exercise. Exercise must not be draggery. It must be that which is fun, enjoyable; but it must be done on a daily or even twice daily basis; as incorporated naturally and regularly into your life. Whatever muscle group is not being exercise, you find a way to exercise it. You use your mind to determine these methods. There can be swimming; there can be running, jumping, simple kelestanics, or complex sports. It does not matter. What is important is that it is a part that you are discovering of joy, but also responsibility. In coming into a body, and taking care of it, and using it as your temple.

You have the necessity to learn this, because the soul, in building will, in utilising this energy will gain a tremendous degree of competence and self-lovability in taking care of this body in this fashion.

The other aspect we note here and quite common on our planet right now and probably likely to get worse overtime, is the constant interference; electro-magnetic fields, various other energies that keep you from being fully electrically active. This is a sort of up-down or luntunal energy, and it is best activated in the simplest fashion: Bare feet on the ground; not wood- there isn’t anything harmful about that, but it is an insulator; and not shoe and not socks- not harmful but simply acting as insulators. Half hour per day should be sufficient- bare feet on the grass, on sand, on dirt, on concrete even, or so forth. Freshwater will be an insulator so will not be so helpful.

The point is that the body then is going to act as an antenna, working with energies to transmit and receive; typically this is time with the breath. But the point is that as you then can walk the earth, touch the earth with the feet, or connect to it; some of those electro-magnetic energies that store and eventually cause liver dysfunction will be reduced.

Various aspects associated with your liver continue to be troubling. This is the master organ and of course, the simplest way to correct this, is by eating raw, organically grown, or at least grass-fed and unfrozen liver. This is simply because it contains the right balance of the material that would be powerful at rebalancing the physical body.

Fats of any sort would be helpful here. But most useful and valuable but also difficult to obtain in your area, are fats derived from milk. Both cow and goat are suitable, as butter or cream, these would be helpful, particularly if, taken with a small quantity of honey that has never been heated, pass its critical temperature of ninety-four degrees Fahrenheit.

These are difficult to obtain materials in your area, but it is possible. There are wide varieties of sources that can ship; sometimes to ship far distances can be difficult. Still though, as there is growing demand for any product, various incorporative, people getting together, pulling their resources and so on can indeed make this occur.

In the meantime, a good second source is coconut. It can be filtered sufficiently, so that the interference provided by the fibre is minimised. Fibre, with coconut, causes the coconut to pass through the gut too quickly. Very little of the fats are absorbed. So as the fibre is removed, then the fats are better absorbed and can be very helpful.

Many of the recipes in the book, ‘Recipe for living without disease’, previously mentioned with regards to ‘Yo-yo diet’, can be adapted to utilise this important helpful fact. But, fats must also be directed with consciousness; they can be use for healing, most any part of the body; external or internal, and it takes one’s deliberate attention on this to have the most profound effect.
We also know the tenancy in obesity to draw in substances to help balance the blood and various liquids particularly lymph by acid-alkaline mean. The answer to this as its part of the ‘Weight gain weight loss’ program, is the regular utilisation of vegetable juices. This is entirely possible and what you can do easily, though you can at times, adapt as necessary. That the vegetables are organically grown is not as important as that the vegetables are those which do not have pesticides. These are concentration in the juice and can be quite harmful; so you must as much as possible avoid this.

Many juices can be helpful in your own development. Many of those from various vegetables not easily obtained when this book was written. For instance the juices of ‘Bak-choy’ can be very helpful in various cleansing regimes. But, the point is not to make the juice too sweet; not to have that sense of great deal of sugar as you would drink it, and to have it at least forty-five minutes away from any other foods so that it has a chance to be absorbed, helpful and ultimately balancing of acid-alkaline. Is this sufficient?

Jill: Okay, thank you. Can Hilarion please recommend possible directions for helpful careers that may best serve my existential program, karma and relationships? I have problems of deciding what I want to do with my current life, and uncertain of which course to study in my education institute. Please advise me on which course of study suits in and which allows me to deepen my spiritual growth and knowledge and also assisantiality.

Hilarion: In a sense, no course of study will be satisfying; certainly none will be easy. It is not that the lesson of this is that you are somehow be like others; some who are driven to this or find whatever they study easy, or something that is fascinating that they must keep out. Rather, it is that you’re given the opportunity to own it, to make it your own, to choose it, to learn it, to grow with it.

You might think that there is attachment. But actually it can be a wonderful thing. Because having learn enough of it, perhaps overrated course of twenty or thirty years, putting into practice what you have learn; but at the same time expanding your lifespan with appropriate diet, various means of health and understanding; you then come to what is termed ‘existential monotorium (43:07) - Right by where you started in the sense, looking again; coming to a new course of study and learning an entirely different aspect; a whole new start in life and a whole new direction.

All of these is entirely possible, in fact for you to do in this life three times; as if living three lifetime in one lifetime. This could be seen as a tremendous advantage because of the wisdom that is integrated, you have full memory, full understanding, full continuity, over those different lifetimes, which you will not have in a more typical reincarnation process.

Of course, as we had hinted before, ways and which you eventually come to incorporate rather traditional means of psychology, working in the world with helping people with various mental issues; understanding their own consciousness and ultimately resolving problems for themselves; blends beautifully with the spiritual aspect of consciential therapy.

Ultimately though, as in any profession or in any way and which energies are utilised in the world, there are deficits, there are areas which you cannot put that into action that help more than one person at a time. Ways, in which then you will then accumulate this information, write it, share it with others, and teach, and so on.

As this might be helpful, if what you learn is actually useful, valuable and practical; something can put into action; then of course, it can lead you to another profession; any area which you have a greater degree of exploration and understanding through the teaching aspect, or some other ones that come naturally in this course of study.

Still though, you must see that whatever area you pick, it is not as if karmically, you have a direction or pre-determined. In fact, the karma is just the opposite. That in whatever direction you work, there will inevitably be deficits, difficulties, areas of studies that are not easy, areas you must put great attention on in order to have all that you need in order for it to manifest as actual job in the world. But that is the real job; the ways and which what is the thing that you choose or whatever reasons you choose it; as different as any of these different capacities might to you. You choose it and own it; you make it your own. You work with the idea that you’re going to plummet steps; bring forth all you can from it; help on every level you possibly can, and apply this in every way possible to yourself along the way.

Along such of course, the higher aspect of ethics, the previously mentioned will inevitably limit what you can do in the world. For instance, to practise more aliphatic medicine in the world, will inevitably bring you into great conflicts with regards to what is happening with medicine on your planet. To practise law in your planet, will inevitably draw you into Man’s law vs. God’s law, and the powerful, difficult cosmoethical issues associated with this.

Practicing in areas of engineering or mathematics or technology or even computer science, will keep you away from your interaction with the public. The ways and which the deeper learning by putting course of study, course of action and learning about relationships, reflection and other universal law principles that always work with people; to prevent this, to reduce it and so on; this will clearly retard your own spiritual development, and make it more difficult for you to put what you have learn to action in the world.

You can see this then, with any profession, but the whole idea of deliberately working out issues that can help you out personally, with regards to psychology, and others certainly seems to make sense. You can though, the cosmoethical aspects, the aspect of true deep help of the soul. This issue does not then show up until you have your credentials, until you are accepted in the world, until you can activate consciential therapy and apply this principle of the bringing of Clarification over aspects of mere consolation. Helping people to feel better is usually going to be insufficient.

In the meantime, areas that you can study and put into action immediately without any degree, without any working with others that requires a great deal of study might be of an interest to you. For instance, studying and working with aspects of hypnosis; learning more about the functioning of the mind; and various ways of increasing your own projectability; capacity to bring greater clarity in your life as a result.

Should you find yourself projected, it is very important that you speak as clearly as possible, ‘take me to my extraphysical hometown’; so that you may look again at all of the process, the difficulties, the karma, and the many solutions to these that you have presented to yourself in coming into this life. Is this sufficient?

Jill: Yes. Is there anything else that my guides, helpers or Hilarion, would like to say to me at this point in time?

Hilarion: So much, many ways in which, as much as is shown, as is given to you as opportunity, as interacting with others, as possibilities. It is as if you accept it to a certain point and then a wall comes down. The wall as we would perceive it has a lot to do with self-love- a way in which you do not allow yourself to be truly, deeply loved. When you do not allow that energy it, there’s no easy solution to this from the point of view of those who wish to love you; to share energy with you and love you and as your friends, as people you know in the world, or as your guides, helpers or beings who oversee.

In all ways, the choice must ultimately be up to you. If there can be however within you, a fear; something that would say- ‘if I’m loved that much, there is a danger’ and look at that, what might that danger be, what it will be saying about you.

We recognised many souls’ answers to this question: the issue of responsibility; being given the idea that you can manifest this love; it could be hurtful, it could hurt others, draw down their energy, harm them. You could make a mistake with it; various ways in which they might trust you; the trust will be misplaced etc., these are the old patterns that overrides from the past. They are necessary now if it is simply a matter of knowing and feeling that love; knowing that you’re loved; sensing it deep inside as the reality.

When you confront the wall in yourself that prevents this, find a way to make a sound with it; to move the body. If in finding that wall there is paralysis; slowing down of movement, it’d be very difficult for anyone to assist, including yourself- your own insight, your own awareness; all the rest, will find this coming up against a great stopping point. Instead, move. Be it tapping; opening and closing the eyes; turning the head side to side; bouncing the feet; making a sound- anything as if to be in movement rather than paralysis will be very important.

Of course, as you are able to work with these energies, it does not simply seen then that this analogy to a wall is accurate. It is just a good beginning point, because in fact, what you come up against is the energy of fear; is the energy in which the love is denied for whatever reason. Sometime, that energy can be release simply by making a sound; by letting the fear out.

Often times when you’re confronted with other emotions, it is valuable to move those emotions through. But then to ask, ‘what is the danger? What is underneath? If there was fear present, what might it be?’ If this might be looked at regularly, a truth will emerge. F.E.A.R. - false evidence appearing as real; a nice way to think about fear when it shows up; so that, you may look deeper at what is the truth; and in this case, the truth, resounding amongst your guides, helpers, those who love and care for you, is that you are lovable; that at your core; at the nature of your being; you deserve love; it is your very nature; it is that energy that surrounds you; it is that energy that you can breath and know. Is this sufficient?

Jill: Oh, thank you. Okay the last question is asked on behalf of Alvin, Winston and Wei Ren. We've recently come across a possible source of commercially available raw coconut fats. The brand name is Artisana (www.premierorganics.org), and the product in question is labelled as "Raw Organic Coconut Butter". Can Hilarion please confirm that the fats in this product are sufficiently raw and healthy?

Hilarion: Yes, the fats are sufficiently raw and healthy. The product is not, and we do not recommend it. What this has to do with, is the necessity, within any material, to make the fats properly available. Extracting the fats is the trick, moving them away from the fibre. Fibre will cause, in the body, a lack of absorption, the materials moving through pretty quickly. Fibre is absolutely necessary on a cooked diet. That is why it is recommended so much, and seen as so healthy; because the toxic (i.e. cooked) materials are then less absorbed; because the fibre pushes the food through quickly.

If however, one is to take in raw, healthy, useful fats, the fibre must then be eliminated or at least reduced. The technique for this, with coconut, is to run slices of raw coconut, through a juicer, with the vegetables screen in place, in the usual way one might make vegetable juice. If the coconut is warmed sufficiently, around 95 degrees Fahrenheit (i.e. 35 degrees Celsius) is adequate, then the fat will separate and come through the screen, and the fibre will then be released out the mouth of the juicer, and it can be discarded, composted, or in other ways, not taken into the body. While the fat, in liquid form, as coconut cream, is so valuable.

Now it is possible that this particular product, as described, could be passed through the juicer. But we see no real need for this (product), as raw coconut (fresh from your local supermarket) is much safer, and easier to use, in this situation. This does not produce, coconut butter, when it is separated in this fashion, technically speaking. It is a fat, without much fibre in it, at all. And a good name for it is coconut cream. However if left at cold temperature, it will harden and be just like butter. So that term is a misnomer, when applied to this product. This product will be closer to a nut butter, in which the whole nut is then macerated, so the fibre still remains, as in any other food, eaten whole, etc.

This is not going to be all that harmful, but it is certainly not going to be very helpful either, and the difficulty with such a product, is that one must always be on the lookout, for shortcuts that companies might take in the future, should a product become quite popular. This is why the utilization of unprocessed foods, where you process them to, for instance extract the fat, you do it yourself, is the usual recommended practice. Does this answer the question?

Jill: Yes, thank you. That’s the end of the questions.

Hilarion: Then we return to the idea of the emerald light; asking you to welcome it, as the cylinder of light, about ten metres in diameter. As you breath the cylinder; seeing it gently expanding as it reaches Mother Earth. She responds in her own loving way; with a gentle ohm. And as the cylinder reaches one hundred metres, two hundred metres, several kilometres in diameter; now you see and feel, her light. Good bye. Ohm……………

Credits: Well, I pretty much typed this whole chunk of almost an hour reading. But the last question was translated by Mr. Heng. And it is also with the aid of Mr. Wong that made this reading possible. It is too, from their combined efforts, to assist me on formulating the questions. Thank you. Thanks Hilarion, guides and helpers Jon, Jill (or perhaps even Jennifer? kekeke!) and anyone who participated in this reading, both physical and extraphysical beings.

Bad Days

2007-09-19T20:28:00.000+08:00

All these bad days, when will I put it to an end, when will I truly learn to let go of all my sufferings, when will I forgive myself totally. Today, my mood pendulum swinged to the very end. As good as dead. Studies, relationships, future, work, self, fitness, old habitual patterns; all came to me together with all its difficulties and challenges. Confused with signs, thoughts spamming my mind, fatigue, lack of this and that; all these sucks. I'd a glimpse of enlightenment and joy, but it didn't sustain. Fear crumples me, lonliness reaches me. Hope, where are you? I seem to lost you again. I've always discuss that life isn't easy, that the lessons I have to learn in this incarnation isn't easy, for if it is, I won't grow much. But then life doesn't have to be difficult too. Indeed, when I'm tired of living. We all must suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret or disappointment.

Alright, I've emptied my bottle, time to get some action done. Study.

'We Want To Live' Diet

2007-09-19T01:18:00.000+08:00

Let food be your medicine, let medicine be your food. Indeed.
I'm inspired by this man, Aajonus Vonderplanitz, who formulated the Primal Diet. A former cancer patient who was pardoned from death by eating food which supplies the most bioactive nutrients.
I created my own medicine, healing and replenishing my body with food which has the essential nutrients it craves. With that, I created the 'We Want To Live' Meal. It is a 3-course meal which is best taken together.
1. We Want To Live Smoothee
2. Cit-lery Juice
3. Eggs Galore

The ingredients are shown below:
Celery, Lemon, Avocado, Eggs, Unheated Raw Honey and Raw Coconut Butter

And the Equipments needed:

Blender and Juicer

First off, we'll prepare the 'We want to Live' Smoothee

Shown below is a 'Made in USA' Raw Organic Coconut Butter. Fat and oily!!!!!

Raw, Unheated Honey from Frankfurt, Germany
We shall first, cut the avocados. Make sure you pick a ripe one, or else you'll have a hard time cut it.

Position the knife at the middle point of the avocado, cut right through it and pull out the seed.
Cut it into smaller pieces for blending convenience.

Next, we shall add two tablespoon of raw coconut butter.

Followed by one tablespoon of raw unheated honey.
Add around 5-7 ice cubes and add water till it reaches slightly more than half of the blender. We'll move on the prepare Cit-lery Juice. 'Cit' simply means citrus, and it refers to lemon. Another alternative is lime. But I prefer lemon though. Cut it in such a way that it fits into your juicer.
That's 5 lemons in a serving!

Lastly, we have to cut the celery. Cut away the bottom and the leafy area as we only need the stem, so to speak. Be sure you wash it first.

That's 'raw'' Cit-lery Juice

Blend the smothee for at least 1 min. You may like to stop it after every a few seconds to shake it, and then continue to blend.
Juice the celery,
and then the lemon.

There you go! On the left is Cit-lery served with ice cubes and beside it is 'We Want To Live' Smoothee.

Clean and Green.
Last but definitely not the least, comes the 'Egg-Gulping Time'. One thing to take note is that it must be Kampong Chicken Eggs. As it is much more tastier and smells nicer than other types of commercial eggs.
Break one egg at a time into a cup, take a deep breath, and gulp it down your throat. One egg at a time,
until one tray of it is empty.
That's it! We've completed one 'We Want To Live' Meal!

Quick and Easy, Results Assured!

This is Iron Chef Wei Ren, until next time, have a green and eggy day.

WPI: Weiren Paranormal Investigation (Old Changi Hospital)

2007-09-18T14:21:00.000+08:00

11.32pm
Firstly, we went to the 'back' blocks of the hospital....

Then we drove to the actual entrance of the hospital. But we decided not to take the risk to enter, as we identified high level of paranormal activites going on in that particular block.

For those pictures like those below that's too dark to see, click on it to see it bigger. It's not totally dark...

Those bright green points you see in some photos are not photoshop effects or paranormal sightings. They are 'special equipment' which we used as 'torchlight' for this excursion.

First Choice

2007-09-14T21:53:00.000+08:00

Was it my real choice? I put it as my first choice indeed. But ever since Day 1 I haven't been enjoying the lessons much. It wasn't a wise and smart choice. In fact, looking at things in a clearer way. I didn't choose for myself. I choose it for my attachments; money, family, future, guidance, help, opportunities, and so forth.

I could earn alot of money! I'll have a bright future! Don't worry, you'll have all the help from the lecturers and tutors! My family will be proud to have me in this course! All this are but illusions that convince me to choose this course.

Illusions are merely illusions. They ain't motivations at all! But both looks so alike that I mistaken both of them since the beginning. I thought I'd motivation and zest to push me forward, but rather I was deceived and it was illusion that shrouded me throughout the first semester.

Never had i really fully question my interest. Is is really chemistry that i've passion for? I just let myself being carried away by my illusions. I've search deep inside me and I've found out that there's something which I've a bigger passion for.

I underestimated difficulties, or rather, in denial. Knowing how calculations and maths isn't my cup of tea, it still couldn't bypass the illusion that those subjects could be done easily. Indeed I wasn't totally prepared to face my fear of maths....

During that semester, I lived by the mistakes by focusing on the minor rather than the major. I got involved in many cca. I have three cca! PACESetters, Toastmasters and Red Cross. I'm going to drop one soon. And will not skip any lectures to go back to my unit in Broadrick anymore. Moreover, I even worked during school days! I'll spend the whole night in the airport and attending lectures and labs the next morning, just to earn a few hundred bucks.

And i've been a real lazy bum. Tutorials and lecture notes are like flyers to me. It's just like those on the streets giving out flyers. I took it, though I don't throw them in the bin, I don't bother much about them, until when the lecturers go through the tutorials. I'll always end up as a photocopier when it comes to doing pre-lab assignments. Copying and copying happily. Well I do study for my test and quiz, but most of them are surprise quiz which I don't know when it'll just pop up! And I'll end up doing the paper with a mental block. I used to hate Maths lecture and Organic Chem lecture. Well, it's not the lecturers fault but I couldn't accustom to them. Most of the time I'll skip their lectures. In fact, I'd hate Maths more if I attend his lecture. Either way I'll end up failing. I'd have to thank my 2-mnth old O level A Maths book and one of my classmate who helped me alot. Thank you. Without it and her, I'd probably score worse. And there's Mass Balance and Inorganic Chem lectures. Well I do attend them regularly but I often doze off. What's worse is this, I've someone whose specialise in Chem and coached me, and gave me alot of materials which most of my friends don't have! How fortunate am I! Yet I still screwed up! Really really disappointed that I didn't make full use of what I have and taking it for granted. I would be in a position far better than the current one had I been more serious. When one of my classmate brought his 'big' organic chemistry book of his to school, and lent me 'unwillingly' when I requested for it, I felt that I'm more well-off than him. But why did he do much better than me? It's because I'm not serious enough. I'd always persuade myself that I'm someone who don't have A Maths and pure Chem background and made myself feel better, and don't compare myself directly to most of my classmates.

All these chunks of what cause my downfall, ain't the real reasons. I've looked deep inside, and realise that those are just manifestation of the real reason which is hidden inside. The real reason is that all the while I'm in the so-called 'shut-down mode' as mentioned in the previous post. And of course, there are underlying reasons that brought about the existence of this mode. In order for me to change for the better, I need to realise what it is, and to be able to 'wake-up'.

Disorientated

2007-09-12T21:12:00.000+08:00

Yup, no doubt i'm currently in a state of disorientation, confusion and simply out of control.

Something that I studied hard for and I just get a mere pass. Something which I dislike and get the worst of all grades. With a GPA that's very low. So low that its impossible to pull it up high enough to get a scholarship.

Sometimes I just need to reassess myself, which I often does, but it only makes matter worse; unhappiness, moody; confusion. And why do I end up this way? I'm sure some people will experience this as well.

Well, let us define a being (in this case, human) as something or someone with a group of characteristics and patterns. With this, whenever you refer to an individual, you're actually referring not to one, but a collective of beings.

Have you ever observe that sometimes when you want to make a decision, there's this tiny voice in your heart which always oppose you? Or when you thought of doing something, and suddenly you get all hype out for it?

This is something that's very complicated that I have yet to understand fully.

We all have the Essence, the Soul and the Ego. What we do have as well, are attachments and thought forms. What's in a name is made up of so many 'things'. Whenever we say we're clear, focus and when we feel that the situation is in control, that's when your mind is in harmony with all these 'things'. But when confusion and lost are felt, the 'things' are in disagreement with one another.

Whenever we give serious thought to something, or when we think of it very often, it becomes a thoughtform and it stays with you. When someone or something are so close and important to you, most probably it'll manifest an attachment which will stay with you. As we gives those thoughtforms and attachments more attention, we attract it more, it shapes up and gets more real. Whenever we think of it, we're stregthening it, giving it more power. When it attain a certain power, it'll be very hard to control it. When you don't want it to be part of you, it won't just go away so easily and becomes a parasite.

We all are intelligent beings. But we don't always do what we should do.

Our Body don't what it Should do, it do what it Wants to do.

Yup, as one of my guides had thought me and had been making sense to me. We are smart people, we know what's good and what's bad for us. But why do we still not doing everything that's good for us and letting the bad stuffs in our way?

Sometimes we know what we're doing isn't right, isn't good for us, but why do we still commit to doing stuffs which won't do us any good. And when we realise that what we're doing isn't what we want and not good for us, we find ourselves out of control, loss touch of ourselves, confuse, unhappy and loss of hope.

This are all merely distraction from our attachments and thoughtforms. Action, comes from intention and becomes real through our physical body. But who does our Body listens to? When our attachments and thoughtforms get strong enough, they are able to command our body.

Our primitive nature is to constantly seek towards happiness and comfort. And when our Body is given a choice to choose who to follow, it'll follow the one which could provide comfort and happiness, as it think it would. But as we know, to change for the better, to be successful, will often requires us to get out of our comfort zone. At the same time, we often dream and wish for a perfect life, living in paradise, comfortable, free of worries and stress, and we often feel good while dreaming of those. As a Body, given its nature, would it listen to one which wants to change, or one which feels good?

Naturally, our Body will enter what's known as 'shutdown mode' or 'sianness'.

For instance, a boy wants to study hard to make up for his laziness in his past. He did study hard for a few days, but do you think he can study hard for long? His Body simply make it hard for him to happen. Studying hard stresses him, and that's not what his Body wants. His Body prefers him to be what he's like when he's lazing around, feeling good, doing nothing and just live by the day. Soon enough, laziness took over him again.

A confused man gets more tired each day. Why? Because being confuse is stressful! There's so much to thing about! In order to reach the Equilibrium which the Body always want to have, it'll enter 'shutdown mode', whether he wants it or not. It's human nature. And as the confused man gets more upset and unhappy, the more the Body wants to remain in 'shutdown mode'.

When we receive motivation, hope, or confidence, it sometimes doesn't stay for long. That's because our Body isn't use to it. Most often than not, we'll often go back to our old habit patterns, which our Body is on familiar grounds and it has no fear of the unknown.

The better the attachment and thoughtform could convince the Body, the more the Body will listen to them, rather than the genuine one itself. It's the mind that thinks, not the Body. It does not knows what's good or bad for it, and let itself being commanded by which ever that could promise it happiness and comfort. But then you fail guilty. You feel that that's not what you really wanted. There's when you are in disharmony with the Body and the other attachments and thoughtforms. This give rise to inner dispute, confusion and disorientation.

And yes. I'm confused and disorientated right now. I'm in the 'shut down mode'. I left tasks undone, living with old habitual patterns, doing stuffs which ain't good for me. I was motivated not long ago and soon it all left me, as i'm not used to it.

(tbc)

Loving and Wanting

2007-09-09T01:35:00.000+08:00

Most are confused with these two feelings. Both are entirely different from each other, yet they appear similar but both yields actions that are poles apart, creating consequences that are of great contrast.

Confused with these feelings, but the fact is, it is very easy to distinguish them. Most often than not, we denied the 'wanting' feeling and lie to ourselves that we're actually 'loving' all this while.

Here's a story( not a real one though):

I love a particular handphone. I want it so much that saved up alot for it and finally owned it. I love it very much. It's always in my pocket and if not I'll feel insecure. It delievers joy to me when I contact my mates.

One day, I wake up to find out that my handphone was gone. I searched for it panickly feared that I'd miss all my contact numbers or I'll never ever receive the joy which the handphone delivered to me, but still it couldn't be found. I was sad, and feel pain in my heart.

I love a particular girl. I want her so much that I put in alot of effort courting her and finally won her heart. I loved her very much. She's always by my side and if not I'll feel insecure. She delievers joy to me when I'm with her.

One day, I wake up to find out that my girlfriend left me. I called and sms-ed her every second panickly for fear that she'd left for another guy or I'll never ever receive the joy which she deliever to me, but still she didn't reply. I was sad, and feel pain in my heart.

Here's another story( also not a real one):

I love a particular handphone. I saved up alot for it and finally owned it. I love it very much. I cherished it and feel grateful to own it.

One day, I wake up to find out that my handphone was gone. I search for an hour but still it couldn't be found. I give a nod and start to save money again.

I love a particular girl. I showered her with all the love and care that I can give her and finally won her heart. I loved her very much. I cherished the time being with her and feel grateful to be with her.

One day, I wake up to find out that my girlfriend left me. I called her up twice, she didn't pick up. I give a nod and start to move on.

Given at the end of the day, looking at the consequence you'd face, would you choose to want, or love? Obviously love isn't it. But most of the time, do we incorporate the act of love? Or do we constantly seek suffering? As I shall speak for myself only, I've always been wanting, as I suffers most of the time.

From now onwards, I'll start to love, loving what is.

It may be difficult, but who says it should be easy.

Sending a message expecting no replies won't be painful anymore.

I'll be able to say goodbye to all my sufferings!!! Yippie!!!

Wanting is being possessive,
Loving brings happiness.

It feels good being able to realise and aware of such things.

Daft Punk's Digital Love

2007-09-08T22:44:00.000+08:00

Daft Punk's Digital Love

(As heard on TV in one of Nokia's ads)

Last night I had a dream about you

In this dream I'm dancing right beside you

And it looked like everyone was having fun

the kind of feeling I've waited so long

Don't stop come a little closer

As we jam the rythm gets stronger

There's nothing wrong with just a little little fun

We were dancing all night long

The time is right to put my arms around you

You're feeling right

You wrap your arms around too

But suddenly I feel the shining sun

Before I knew it this dream was all gone

Ooh I don't know what to do

About this dream and you

I wish this dream comes true

Ooh I don't know what to do

About this dream and you

We'll make this dream come true

Why don't you play the game ?

Divine Intervention

2007-09-08T22:03:00.000+08:00

Divine Intervention. Now airport holds another set of memories. Not a good one unfortunately. Having to say 'Bye' and not knowing what it really means for me. I was made speechless, not by her, but rather the intervention by my guides. They know me too well, they know i'm just not ready, and perhaps she's not ready too. They're sending me a message: I've not completed my current tasks, I've not learnt my lessons totally. I've to change or else nothing will change. But still, although I may have a past-life relationship with her, though she didn't realise or aware of it, she has to be what she is, I have to be who I am, and the consequences is just a matter of Karma balancing. Whatever it is, the Universe had send her to me to learn a lesson which I screwed up with the previous one last year. This time, I'll handle it well. Though its tougher than the previous one, as the attraction is much stronger, I've to do what's best for both of us. Although the inert pendant meant for her is still with me, it's best that its with me. Just like my previous story, I can't ask a scorpion not to sting, but what i can do, is to decide whether to remain as foolish as the tortoise or accept the scorpion like a man and move on.

I can't wait for my reading to arrive.

Archangel Michael and fellow guides, you'd always been by my side, I feel it. Thank You.

Loving and Wanting, is a totally different ball game.

Perfume-making

2007-09-03T14:51:00.000+08:00

Open House 08/09 Chemical Engineering Project

Perfume-making using Steam Distillation Method

Scorpion and Tortoise (Aftermath)

2007-08-31T12:24:00.000+08:00

(Continued)

Tortoise moaned in agony, "Why did you stung me when you promised me you won't."
Scorpion replied conveniently, "I'm sorry... I can't help but to sting whichever that seems like a prey."

What's the nature of a scorpion? It stings.
What's the nature of a scorpion when it receive help? It stings..
What's the nature of a scorpion when it receives goodwill? It stings...
What's the nature of a scorpion which loves it's loved ones very much? It still stings!

In life context, it is still as true as it is in the analogy.

How ironic, we can adapt the nature that surround us in the world that we live in, but it is so hard to adapt to someone's nature, especially loved ones and even oneself.

Scorpion and Tortoise

2007-08-28T21:51:00.000+08:00

Tortoise was happily soaking himself in the river. Scorpion soon appeared by the shore.

'Mr. Tortoise, will you give me a lift across the shore, please? My son is lost at the other side of the river and he must be starving by now. Please, i have to get there...' ,Scorpion pleaded.

Tortoise instinctively know that the Scorpion was down to trap him, but pitied his son.

'I'm not a fool, you'll sting me!' Tortoise defended.

'Why would i sting someone who'd help me! Please Tortoise, my son is very pitiful right now, please help me get to him, I promise i won't sting you...'Scorpion affirmed.

That sounds logical to Tortoise, 'Why would i be stinged for helping?'. And the soft-hearted Tortoise sympathised for the young scorpion even more.

'Please...Please...' Scorpion pleaded sorrowfully.

Tortoise finally made a decision, ' Alright Scorpion, I'll help you, but you better don't sting me.'

'Of course, thank you so much!

Tortoise felt great having to help Scorpion and being thanked, and his fear of being stung soon subsides.

Scorpion got onto Tortoise, and on the way to the other shore.

Upon the arrival of the destination, Tortoise was stung.

What's the moral of the story?

A picture says a thousand words

2007-08-26T02:19:00.000+08:00

Poly Life

2007-08-25T20:19:00.000+08:00

Next week, is the conclusion of my first semester in TP. Times in poly and and secondary school differs greatly. If days fly in secondary school, days 'teleport' in poly. Time seems to pass unknowingly while having lectures, tutorials and labs.

I've 3 CCAs altogether. PACEsetters, Toastmasters, and Red Cross.

No, there's no Red Cross in TP. I attending a Volunteer Instructor course, VIP 8 months ago. Those days were great. Well the best was in a camp known as Linkamania. Whereby i'm staying with pleasant people and energetic primary school kids! And my role in the camp was a mentor for one of the groups.

I'm deployed back to Broadrick Sec, where i started my Red Cross path. Skipped some lectures, particularly OC, and even some tutorials and went down for rehearsals and trainings. Speech Day, School Official Opening, and usual trainings. For that, i wasn't tt bonded with my class. Kinda neglected them. Glad i'm more inclined to my class now.

Toastmaster! Whenever i mentioned this to my friends, their reaction are so predictable: 'Huh?'
It's a public speaking organisation, not some wine-tasting clubs or something.

PACEsetters! Well the reaction for this is worse: 'HUH!'
I can't blame my friends since its only known in TP. Basically its a cca whereby the members are deployed as ushers and helpers for various significant events in TP.

Before the semester began, i went for TP's 'Freshmen Orientation Camp'. The best part is the TP Mass Dance! It just brings out the zest in everyone, even those who arn't enthusiastic at all. The following week was another bonding period, this time was school base, Applied Science School.

My class, A7D6, which i deemed as "A class of good souls". Why do i say so? Because i'm their classmates.(I'm kiddin') Rather because they're genuinely nice people. And i have to be proud of my class. It houses Mahjong Kings and Sages, Dota Pros and Maple-ly richman. And many academic Top-5ers too! And my Careperson(form-teacher) was a former bodybuilder! Interesting. I've also befriend many from the other five classes.

So my current modules are: Principles of Inorganic and Physical Chemistry, Organic Chemistry, Mass and Energy Balance and Engineering Mathematics. It's arranged from the strongest to the weakest.

The first semester wasn't smooth at all. The resistance to adaptation was high. Changing the approach to education at a higher level was kind of challenging now at the initial state. And my results proven it so. Thankfully i've started to change, taking the first semester as a lesson. It's was a manifestation of my unawareness and perhaps, lack of seriousness. Chemistry is interesting. It is interestingly hard to grasp too! Underestimation sure did played a part.

First Post

2007-08-25T18:05:00.000+08:00

I'm back to blogging!

With a blog i can call my very own, unlike the previous one with my ex-classmate, and hence it shall be named after me.

This is my 4th blog that i'd created ever since 2004 (Actually there's 5 before this blog).
1st - http://gogozacky.blogspot.com/ (2004)
2nd - http://halohungup.blogspot.com/ (2005-2006)
3rd - http://weibertism.blogspot.com/ (2006-2007)

Each one has its stories, the emotions in it lies there till the end. So whenever i open any of the previous links, flashbacks of my secondary school life will spontaneously appear. Happy moments, as well as...bad.

For every blog has a purpose. And i can say that the purpose of this blog is perhaps, the most meaningful one among all others that i'd created.

During the school-less period between end of O's till the first day of TP, and till now, I've learn loads of stuffs! And i've grown. As i gathered so much knowledge and experience, i've always got the urge to write it down. And the other urge is to pass it on, sharing it with people i'm close to.

And that's where blogging is the supply for my needs.

Everyone has guides and helpers, both in physical and non-physical form. They appear at different seasons of one's life. And you'll be fascinated by how the universe shapes the contact between you and your guides. At this period of my life, i'd contacted two of the physical ones.
Wonderful beings, teachers of Universal truths, they are. Whatever i've learn, there may be limits of absorbing and applying it, but there's no limits for sharing it. And this blog serves also as a material of self-reflection at the end of the day. It can remind me of what i learn too.

Give and take is essential and must be balanced, neither one can be compromised. And that's how life works said one of my guide. This is how the system works: Desire to learn, Universe do something to fulfill the desire, be grateful by sharing it, by being grateful the Universe will give you more, and this forms a cycle.

Weirenism

New Link

MOVE TO A NEW BLOG

Some Cute Pictures!

West District Camp 2008

Holidays

Secret 20 years Tutorial

Secret 20 years foward/back - Jay Chou

周杰伦 Jay Chou 加長快 不能說的秘密 琴室 Secret played by Amos (retry)

Cher Hearts Jay - 不能说的秘密 - 去20年前 (加快长版)

Increible Beatboxing Frances

Exams: Semester 1.2

Olivia Ong - Singapore's Best!

Class Formal Presentation

Marina Mandarin Singapore

Happy Lunar New Year

Womendynamics

It's just so depressing...

A New Year

As A Red Cross Cadet

Movies 2008

Farewell 2007...

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

Music Camp 2007

Warlords

Tribute to Mrs Benazir Bhutto

A Quiet Christmas

Life Process

Chipmunk Christmas Song (Hula Hoop)

Alvin And The Chipmunks - Hula Hoop - Christmas Song

No Pork at all

M1 Advertisement

Rhythm of the Rain

Rhythm of the falling rain

Hokkien Song - JIPABAN!

Chill Out

Perfect Imperfect

Foward Love

Term Tests' Over

Thermodynamics

Pearly Shells

Test

RCY Challenge 2007

Bravo's Campfire Performance for RCY Challenge 2007

Finest Moments of RCY Challenge 2007

RCY Challenge 2007 (Group and individual shots)

Chemistry I

RCY Challenge Photo

CCN Day

Lies

My beloved ChE Class TD06

MV Ren Yi Men 任意門 - Rainie Yang 楊丞琳 ^o^*

Tuesdays with Morrie (Audiovisual)

Reflections on Toltec Wisdom I

Hey You Madonna Live Earth 7-7-7

Hey You Madonna Live Earth 7-7-7 (Lyrics)

Rainie Yang Cheng Lin

Que Yang - Rainie Yang with English pinyin and translation

The Secret that Cannot be Told

Asset-based thinking

The Four Agreements

Hilarion Reading

Bad Days

'We Want To Live' Diet

WPI: Weiren Paranormal Investigation (Old Changi Hospital)

First Choice

Disorientated

Loving and Wanting

Daft Punk's Digital Love

Divine Intervention

Perfume-making

Scorpion and Tortoise (Aftermath)

Scorpion and Tortoise

A picture says a thousand words

Poly Life

First Post

周杰伦 Jay Chou 加長快不能說的秘密琴室 Secret played by Amos (retry)